Dear Jean

Last night I wrote a blog post called “My Mish Mash Blog.”  And like always, I received a text from my life-long friend, Jean.  She said she had commented on the blog, but when I checked, she had not.  This has happened many times, but last night I told her that perhaps she had submitted it incorrectly.  We’re both in our 60’s, and technology seems to be a few laps on the track ahead of us both, so maybe it was in fact, a technical issue.

A short time later, Jean texted me back and said she realized she had never, ever, in the past many, many years, ever actually submitted ANY of her comments.  As a subscriber to my blog, she would receive an email alerting her that I had posted a story, and she would then respond.  But last night after I alerted her that I’ve never, ever received any responses from her, she checked her email.  A few minutes later she sent a screen shot of all of her returned emails because she had responded to the email from my blog each time, even though it clearly said, “Do Not Reply to this email.”

Immediately I thought how kind of her it was to continue encouraging me with her comments, especially since I never, not once, ever responded to ANY of them, because I’d never received even one!  Like I said – we are both a few laps behind the technology horse.  To go back and re-send each of them to actually be posted to my blog would take…   a year?

Jean felt horrible last night.  So did I.  And I woke up thinking about it, as I’m certain she did as well.

So.  This is a letter to my dear, sweet, fiercely faithful, and most encouraging friend…

Dear Jean,

Someone once said to me, “Rita, how do you make decisions if you don’t have a husband?”  (Yes, I nearly choked on my own laughter.)  But I suppose anyone would look at my life and wonder many things.  Maybe?

From becoming a single parent, raising two babies alone (with the help of my nearby family members), to never, not one time putting my kids in even one hour’s worth of day care, to waitressing part time to get through school, to working full time from home and being available all of the time for my sons, and to both of them turning out phenomenally – I can understand how someone would wonder how I did all of that as a single parent.  I get it, because I often look back and wonder how the heck I did it too.  But, it is ONLY by the grace of God which, probably sounds so cliche to most people, but let me explain why it’s not!  And, let me explain why friends like you, Jean, were, and continue to be the means by which God graces the living daylights out of me.  (But, ALL the glory goes to God, not to me, you, or anyone else.)

From as early as my medical transcription classes and sitting next to Charlene who invited me to church, and then became my kids’ Sunday school teacher for a very short time – I now see clearly the plan God worked out for my little family.  Recently when Charlene retired, her church handed her the stack of attendance rosters and my kids names were somehow on the top, and she was reminded (and so was I), that even as early as the elementary years – God had a plan to make Rory and Ian his children.  It’s mind-boggling when we realize that God invites us to participate in His plans.  I’m constantly in awe of that.  And there are a gazillion other stories I could tell you that all point to God (not to me or to anyone else).

Jean, you and I have taken care of more patients together than I can count.  I’ve spent so many sacred, holy, wouldn’t-trade-them-for-anything moments with you behind curtains praying with and for our patients, extubating them, helping them to say goodbye to their loved ones, reassuring them, and sometimes – even leading them to Christ.  What an honor to do this alongside you for so many years.  Every time my back goes out and I’m tempted to grumble in pain, I remember, and I wouldn’t trade those years turning 200 pound patients together with you for anything!

And you shared your sweet Irish step-dancin’, ceili twirling, wisdom-packed Mama with me, and I remain convinced that I will forever quote her until my last breath.  Everything changes in 5’s.  But we’re almost 5 years post COVID and our friendship remains as solid as ever, despite no longer being in the same “Big House,” and being able to “knock 3 times on the ceiling if you need me!”  I know she’s right about the 5-year thing, but time will never change our friendship.  We’re Irish.  We’re too stubborn to change.

The day I was sitting in the break-room brokenhearted, and you came in and gave me the best advice that would change the trajectory of the lives of myself, Rory, and Ian was planned by God before you and I were ever here on this earth.  I just love how God has woven your life, and my life, and the lives of our families together.  I also know – He’s not done.

So as much as I know I would enjoy reading through all of those encouraging comments you thought you’d made on my blog, I know the kinds of encouraging things you would say.  You are one of the wisest, kindest, most thoughtful, patient, insightful, sweet, giggly, bubbly, confident, truthful, resourceful, godly, loyal, and most beautiful inside and out people I have ever, or will ever, know.

What does this have to do with my single parenting years?  Everything.  God provided  you as a friend for me, for a co-worker and pal in the “Big House,” and He arranged so many meetings for you me to witness to lost souls, and for that I will be forever sooooo grateful!  He knew I’d need a friend like you during all of these years, and He gave me GRACE wrapped up in a friend named Jean Sanders!  The years that most people would look at and think would be the most difficult, were actually the sweetest and most memorable for me – because I have two terrific sons, a good family, and a wonderful friend named Jean.  What a gift you are to me!  (And thank you for helping me make so many decisions.  I now have an answer for my friend!)

I love you, Jean!

And Dave…    our 3rd Muskateer 😉

PS)  I WILL find more photos!