Right in the middle of me talking with my patient a few weeks ago, her phone rang. “I have to take this,” she said, “it’s my daughter!”
I listened as she gave detailed instructions on how to re-create the stuffing for the turkey she grew up loving so much. My patient smiled at me as I waited. It was a sweet moment for me. She didn’t seem bothered at all, either, when her daughter called several more times during her chemotherapy treatment to ask several other questions about her favorite recipes she’d grown up enjoying.
Apparently, this daughter was taking over hosting the Thanksgiving holiday this year since her mom was going through cancer treatment and really didn’t feel quite up to preparing a meal for the entire family. My patient asked if I was hosting, and what the plans were for my family, and I gave her my usual response when asked if I’m hosting. “Nope. I just go where I’m told to go, and bring what I’m told to bring.” She laughed, and didn’t seem the least bit sad about giving up what she had done for probably 50 years, and having all of her children and grandchildren gather at her home for a family Thanksgiving.
Well aware of how crummy she typically feels during the days immediately following her treatment, I asked how she felt about having to give up the holiday. Ohhhh, I just love when someone unknowingly speaks wisdom into my life!!!
She smiled really big. And then she said something to the effect of, “Oh honey – there comes a time when we have to take our traditions and hand-me-down them to the generation behind us. I think it’s that time for me.” And then she said, “And you know what, Rita? I really, really enjoyed cooking for my family, and I loved hearing them all laughing and enjoying one another. But I’m finding that I enjoy these phone calls asking for the details of how to duplicate all of the recipes and memories even more. Oh, I just love when my phone rings! Besides, it would be selfish for me to insist on keeping all of these holidays to myself. This way, it almost feels as if I’m getting to enjoy a little taste of what the future will be like when I’m gone. It reminds me that things are going to be just fine, and my family is going to be okay.”
And with that, her phone rang once more, she smiled really big and said, “Excuse me, Rita. I have to take this.”
I haven’t stopped thinking about that conversation, and am certain that little nugget of wisdom will stay with me for a very long time.
Sometimes, I think I might actually be naively believing I’m the only one whose life’s seasons change. But they never stop, do they?! It’s a sweet thing to get a glimpse into someone else’s. She gave me quite the gift that day.
“One generation commends Your works to another; they tell of Your mighty acts.” Psalm 145:4
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