Turning the page in your calendar to a nice clean month with empty boxes… Am I the only person who enjoys this?
I can’t be.
July’s been another month of all of my plans canceled. I missed a retirement party, a farewell party, the Lavender Festival, Brynn’s family BBQ, dinner with Danielle, and a week’s worth of work, just for starters.
It was more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants month! I had a Gross Pointe Starbucks coffee date with Jennifer, along with a short blogging tutorial because my blog was updated beyond my technical abilities. What a sweet gal!
There was a last minute Friday night dinner at the Chamberlains, a full day with Holly & the kiddos, finished a couple of books and started a new one that I’m savoring slowly, walked a lot of laps around my quiet neighborhood, and met a cute little Grandpa and grandson I got to share a package of pop rocks with. It’s always so fun to see kids experience those for the first time! (I’m easily amused, I guess, right?) Spent the 4th of July with friends Reyne, Pam, and Bill. And Maci smiles so big with those gigantic dimples, and sticks her feet out anticipating that I’m going to tickle them. I can’t take it. She’s just too squishy and adorable!
July’s Life Lessons
July was about being still. I should say – being forced to be still. Forced because – I’m not very good at it. So when God wants to get my attention, He usually has to really get my attention. We’ll just leave it at that.
July’s life lessons are going to spill into August, I’m afraid. And perhaps September. And 2023, and 2024.
One thing I really realized in July 2022 is that those who commit to being prayer warriors, really carry a burden that even they at times, don’t realize the enormity of. Prayer warriors need to be prayed for – so that the burdens they bear for others don’t become too much. Sometimes, it becomes too much and they don’t even realize it. Pray for your prayer warriors.
I also learned in July, because I didn’t learn it in June, or May, or April, or even in 2021, or 2020… is that I am not responsible for all of the things I feel responsible for. God doesn’t need me. Things aren’t going to fall apart if I’m not in ten places at the same time – or even three places at once.
It is entirely possible for me to wear out my welcome.
God really can, and will, change hearts. I frequently read my old journals, and I have journaled my entire life ever since I got my very first pretty little yellow diary with a lock and key for Christmas as a little girl! I shared with my besties a couple of weeks ago – I was praying for a particular situation for a long, long time, and journaled frequently about it. Still journal about the same situation, but in re-reading all of my prayers, I saw that it was MY heart that changed in the process. That was God’s plan all along! I’m still praying for that situation, but I’m so much more encouraged now! Keep praying! And keep your journals!
Several years ago, I welcomed someone into my home as a guest for nine months. It was a very unpleasant experience for many reasons. On her first day, she threw out a lot of my food, rearranged my kitchen cupboards, threw ALL of my spices in the garbage, and left me a two-page list of groceries she would need. It was continuously downhill from there, and when I refused to submit to her final demand of signing a notarized legal statement saying she could live indefinitely and rent free at my home, she moved out unexpectedly when I was not home, leaving a small sticky note that read, “I’ve found a new address.” Not a “thank you,” or “sorry I missed you before I left,”…. Nope.
I have slowly over the past few years replaced all of my spices – or so I thought. Today I was missing the spice I needed in the middle of trying a new recipe. I found myself getting angry all over again, re-living what a nightmare that nine months was, and realized I’d even kept that dumb little note she left. I’ve harbored bitterness. Friends – that’s never good. Matthew 6:15-16 says not to do it, and 1 Corinthians 13:1 says that love does not keep a record of wrongs. I’ve kept that record longer than I ever, ever should have. Friends, don’t be like me. I’ve kept records. Let em go. Spices are cheap. Replace them, and move on.
I also realized I can’t remember things. Really. I don’t know if it’s the events of the past two plus years, or if it’s simply my age. Whatever it is… someone actually asked me last week if I should start taking Prevagen. Oh. My. God.
Listen, let me just apologize in advance if you ask me to pray for Jo Jo, or Susan, or Kathy’s 2nd cousin’s next door neighbors daughter’s best friend’s mother-in-law’s son-in-law, okay?? I am NOT going to remember to ask you how they are doing. My brain is full, or I’m selfish, or old, or too tired, or something undiagnosed like ADD or ADHD or ABCDEFG. Or I need the Prevagen. I don’t know. But I cannot remember. Again, I’m so sorry. I cannot do any more than I’m already doing. I’m tired. Really tired. Please just go ahead and forgive me in advance.
I want fall, okay? In fact, as we speak, I’m already burning the fall candles. I get to see Ian and Hayley at a wedding this fall, if the Good Lord’s willing, and the creek don’t rise, as my good friend Linda says! Owen’s going to turn 4 and I got him some bonfire jammies, and I’m hoping to get an invitation to a bonfire at Rory and Holly’s. My Pood’s coming home, my bathroom’s getting a re-model, and I’ve got about 10 more fall-scented candles in the basement and I plan on burning every single one of them for myself!
I’m just not gonna write ANYTHING in pen in my calendar anymore. (Except for you, Sharon Wild. You are in INK!) See ya in two weeks!
Turning that page now…
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8