An RN’s Letter to a Cancer Patient

Dear Cancer Patient,

An hour before your appointment last week, we all saw you on the schedule and knew you were coming.  “I can take her,” was the common response from all of us nurses, followed by expressions describing how much we care for you, how kind (and fun) you are, and how we always look forward to seeing you – even though we wish we were running into you at the supermarket or some other place around town that has nothing to do with cancer.  And that giggle of yours – it’s adorable and infectious, and we all love hearing it.

You said through your tears that the only time you walked through the doors of our Infusion Center afraid, was that very first time.  You said it didn’t take long before you began to feel as if you were coming to spend time with your girlfriends.

Oh you sweet thing – I hope you know we feel the same way!

And even though your concern about your cancer always lingered foremost in your mind, your fear did not.  You said you slept well the night before, always reassured that we knew how to care well for you.  Those words were such an encouragement  –  Thank you for trusting us.

You said that even though you understand we have to read your MRN (medical record number) with every medication we administer, that we never make you feel as if you are your MRN, but that you are a real person, and that you know we genuinely care for you.  We do!

You even said how comforting it is to hear our laughter and our exchanges amongst ourselves at the desk, and that you can tell we love our jobs, and genuinely care about one another, and yes – we do.  You said you found that comforting.  So do we.  It’s a great group of the kindest gals who’ve become close friends.  It’s nice to look forward to coming to work and seeing not just you – but each other as well.  Again, thanks for the encouragement!

We watch that sweet Mom of yours, and see how gladly she accompanies you for each and every chemotherapy treatment. We have all watched her worry over these last years, and seen your cancer and it’s treatment take its toll on her, just as we’ve seen it take a toll on you.  Even having slowed down a bit, now to the point of needing a wheelchair, she never misses any of your treatments.  Nope.  Not even one.  She wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.  So we don’t just love you – we love her too.

What a sweet Mom God gave you.  She has given all of us the gift of an incredible example of the selfless love of a mother.

When I told you last week how glad we always are to see you, and jokingly told you that we fight over who gets to be your nurse, I was not expecting the flood of tears that would follow.  You even thoughtfully went out of your way to take the time and share them with our boss, because you just felt the need to let her know what a difference we’ve all made for you, and I promise – I made sure that every RN at our Center knew all of the kind words you shared through your tears.

We really do love you too, and I’m certain every RN at every Infusion Center loves their patients just like we do.  So I thought I’d not only share with the nurses at our center, but with others as well through this note.

For the days prior to your treatment, we begin looking at your chart.  We know if you’ve gotten your labs drawn or not.  We call you to make sure you haven’t forgotten to get them, write notes to each other on your chart letting one another know what’s going on.  We watch for your labs, and anticipate what your neutrophils and platelets will be, hoping they are sufficient for treatment, because we hate cancer too, and we’re rooting for you like cheerleaders (some of us too old and too sore to jump, though).  Plus, we want to see your face!

And many of us pray for you.

We chat at the desk about how kind you are, and how unnecessary it is for you to bring those dozen donuts to us at every visit, but we also understand how difficult it is to express your gratefulness.  We want you to know…

We eat them.  ALL OF THEM.  🙂

We love hearing about your summer plans, your kids, your grandkids, their school dances and football games, your niece’s wedding, your weekend, your wins, your anticipations, your heartaches, and yes…

We even want to hear your fears.

You said that we “make the burden of having cancer so much lighter.”  We all want you to know that you make it easy to come to work, that we look forward to seeing you, that we’re cheering you on, and we too…   feel like an old friend is coming for a visit.

Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us, and for trusting us with your fears and your tears.  None of us take this privilege lightly or for granted, but cherish every moment we get to “hang out” with you on this journey.  You are such a gift to us.

Over the course of my career, I have called my sneakers my “school shoes,” (shout out to my friend Brynn), because of the wisdom I’ve had the honor of gleaning from so many of my patients.  You see, when you’re sick, God just seems to teach us so much, doesn’t He?  So I try hard to pay attention to you, because you have many perspectives while sitting in that chair that those of us hanging saline bags and chemotherapy don’t quite understand yet.  So keep sharing with us what God is teaching you through your cancer journey.  We are a team, and we’re in this with you as much as we can be.

And until you get to ring that bell and tell us through both laughter and tears that you hope to never see us again, please know that we too – feel like we’re just hanging out with a friend, and we don’t ever want to see you again either!   LOL

We are honored to have shared in your cancer journey with you.  And even though we will surely miss you, I confess that we will secretly hope every time we go to the supermarket, that we turn the corner of an aisle and get to run into you again…

…our old friend.

Kindest regards from a chemotherapy RN, on behalf of every other chemotherapy RN 🙂