This morning I watched a centipede that I promise you was at least 4 inches long, run a marathon across my living room floor and stop just shy of the couch. I jumped up out of my chair like the 25-year-old athlete that I am NOT, and went to grab a shoe to destroy that little monster, and…
… well, I couldn’t find him.
What that means is – that little bugger is still here somewhere, running around my house.
How? How in the tarnation (insert Southern accent here) am I supposed to SLEEP tonight?
I covet your prayers.
But that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is actually about an onion. Yes, and onion.
A spoiled, rotted onion found wayyyy in the back of my vegetable drawer on Saturday. Here. Let me set the stage with a little back story from about two weeks ago or so…
Have you ever opened your refrigerator and thought that something just didn’t smell quite right? Well, I was doing that off and on for about two weeks. I’d re-arrange things, wipe down the shelves, toss out a few items. I even put a little bowl of baking soda in the back, but sometimes I thought maybe my sense of smell was just a wee bit off. Maybe that smell was just my imagination. But it wasn’t.
That smell just seemed to linger until it finally began haunting me, and there was no mistaking that something, somewhere – was dead. So Saturday morning I was on mission to basically disassemble my refrigerator, clean every shelf, drawer, and cubby, and find the culprit. And I did just that.
Way in the back of the vegetable drawer was an old onion that had turned into what could have legit been some middle schooler’s science experiment. It was nauseatingly disgusting, and it might be a decade before I ever add onion to any recipe again.
But I was over-joyed to have found the source of what smelled as if something had crawled into my kitchen and died, and promptly tied it up as tightly as I could in a couple of plastic bags, and got it immediately OUT to the garbage! And my little refrigerator is all cleaned up tidy and sparkling now.
I proudly told my Mom, as well as a couple of friends about how happy I was to have finally solved the stinkin’ mystery in my refrigerator, and laughed at the hilarity of how happy I was to have found something so disgusting.
It’s like my sin, really. And yours too. Hear me out.
I’m on week eight of a 24-week Self Confrontation Course that has me doing just that – self confronting! And in the wise words of Voddie Bauchum – “Can’t say Amen, gotta say ouch!”
Yep. Ouch!
“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5
This past week’s homework involved “logging my logs,” or journaling the details about my sins – one sin in particular that I really want to conquer. I didn’t realize it was a sin until four weeks into this study. I knew it was an “issue,” but never thought of it as an actual “sin.” So my “issue” was like that disgusting smell that was just always lingering every time I opened the refrigerator, and I was kinda just hoping it would go away, or that just by wiping down a few things I could make the stench disappear, but I was unsuccessful on both accounts. It wasn’t until I finally took the TIME to get up at the crack of dawn, roll up my sleeves, start disassembling the guts of my fridge, and start scrubbing its insides, that I found that spoiled rotten onion. I was THRILLED to have found it! I wasn’t imagining things!
How ironic that I would be HAPPY to have found something disgusting! Right?
That’s how logging my logs has felt, especially focusing on one PLANK in particular. I’m so relieved to have found it, and so glad to finally be in the process of yanking that sucker out of my eye. (Actually, out of my heart might be a more accurate description).
How exactly does one pull a plank out of their eye after they’ve identified it? Well, I’m learning, it’s a whole lotta prayer, a good amount of quiet time in the Word, a close friend to hold up a mirror that doesn’t lie, and…. by renewing my mind, bathing it in Scripture, meditating on what pleases God, repeating scriptural truths to myself over and over, and doing what pleases God instead of what pleases me, because – newsflash, it’s not all about me! I was so shocked to learn this! What do you mean everything isn’t about me?! (Insert sarcasm)
Every morning I listen to Psalm 46 by Shane & Shane, (yes, EVERY MORNING), and love the the lyrics that say, “Oh God who makes the mountains melt, come wrestle us and win!” That’s where I’m at. I want these logs and planks OUT of my eyes and my heart. I want to find all of those rotten things hiding in the crevices of my heart, and I want them gone for good. Oh God who makes the mountains melt, come wrestle ME and win!
I also want to destroy that wicked centipede, but I can’t decide whether or not I truly want to find him!
But first, I need to go log a few logs in my “log log.” G’night!
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
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