It’s no secret that our culture’s tension is currently at an all time high. Unless your head is in the sand, you don’t own a television, or you’re so disciplined that social media is not even remotely a part of your days, you are well aware that people have become disposable to one another, and the bar that determines when (and how) we are disposed of is set at a pretty shallow height.
I once deleted someone off of Facebook and ended our friendship as cordially as possible after she posted about 75 photos of me in my bathing suit while we were on a weekend trip to a beach town. We had promised each other when we left for our trip, “no unbecoming pictures,” so I was caught off guard when a trusted friend called me at work to alert me of my Facebook bathing suit modeling debut in the days after returning from the trip. When I reached out and literally begged her to remove them, she told me to “get over it,” and then wrote a blog dedicated to me called, “Everyone Loves a Whale.” Believing that my pleas to remove these embarrassing photos from social media were ridiculous, she refused to remove them. I have no regrets for ending that friendship; I’m just sorry that I had to. And I have not worn a bathing suit in 10 years as a result of that.
People seem to have become embarrassingly comfortable taking jabs at one another over just about everything, and the way in which they do so has become more and more cowardly by hiding behind a keyboard. Comfortable and not the slightest bit convicted over purposefully horrible, cruel insults slung in cunning words fully intended to sting, yet they themselves appalled that someone hasn’t clicked the “like” button enough times to measure up and remain on their exclusive friend list.
This happened to me a couple of months ago when someone apologized in advance for unfriending me, and said that I just didn’t click the “like” button on enough of her posts to remain friends. Another sent me a novel’s worth of cruel messages because I was upset about Charlie Kirk’s death, and she believed my faith in Jesus was ridiculous and felt I needed to know. And I’m sure you’ve already thought of 10 of your own similar experiences before even arriving at the end of this sentence.
“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,” 2 Timothy 2:24
Have our friendships truly become this, dare I say – fragile? Are these Facebook standards what we use as the measuring tool to decide who is a trusted, genuine, faithful friend, and who isn’t?
Likes? Seriously?
A trusted friend once told me, “People only know what you tell them.” Maybe we ought to save some of the intimate details of our lives for the face-t0-face, phone-put-away, committed, authentic, trusted friendships that require the sacrifice of TIME. The relationships that require, invest, and enjoy intentional, blocked off TIME to say the hard stuff, confess the sins, struggle with the heartaches, share the private victories, tell one another what God is doing, what He’s teaching us, how He’s changing, growing, sanctifying, and yes – even disciplining us (over bacon and eggs, of course). The relationships that not only want the best for one another, but who also are ready, willing, and committed to helping one another mature, even when it’s hard. Iron sharpening iron.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
Life is so short, and the older I get the more of a reality that phrase becomes. The TIME left to invest in those I care for, and to be influenced by those I choose to surround myself with, listen to, (or judge me by how many “likes” I send their way), becomes shorter and shorter each and every time I wake up. I must invest wisely, and so must you.
So let’s not just be choosy about who we sit face-to-face with, let’s recognize the time we’re all spending trying to prove others wrong on Facebook. Get before God. (A wise woman once told me to get alone, and get on my face before God – He’ll listen, and unless you’re already perfected and in heaven, He’s going to reveal all sorts of things about you that need to change). Just do it.
God’s Word tells us to renew our minds, and although we’ve all clicked on some links that have taken us to some incredible blogs or sermons – let’s be honest. We can get those blogs and sermons without being on social media. And I’ve yet to find success renewing my mind on Facebook or Instagram. Like – never. Not even once.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
This is a “Hello Pot, this is Kettle” moment for me. Get off social media. Do a fast. Want to be an “influencer?” Go do it in person. Find a restaurant, go grab a burger with someone you care about, or someone you care about, but disagree with about something – and go invest in one another. Invite them to YOUR kitchen table! Go be kind and tender-hearted to someone. Sharpen one another’s iron; yours will inevitably get sharper too! And if you land up enjoying yourself, do it again!
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6
Riddle me this. Can you even imagine for a moment how we’d be transformed if we deleted all of our social media apps – Instagram, Facebook, X, and TikTok – even for just a day? And can you imagine if we spent HALF the time we invest in the nonsense – to listening for wisdom, and learning how to discern God’s will in our daily lives? Just based on some of the insults I have seen slung back and forth between “friends” on Facebook lately… I’m curious enough to give it a shot and do a short Facebook fast.
Heck, since I’ll be in a hotel this weekend with an indoor pool, I might even buy a bikini and go for a swim.
Image Bearers are not disposable, even if you disagree with them!
Tis was INCREDIBLE! Thank you