I’m Sorry – I Just Can’t Keep A Secret

I am 62-1/2 years old, and that 1/2?  It matters to me like it matters to a 3-1/2 year old.  And it doesn’t matter how hard I try to keep a gift wrapped and tucked away until Christmas every year – I simply cannot do it.  I can’t.  I try and I try, and I fail miserably year after year.

And this isn’t anything new.  Once when I was quite young, I shopped for Christmas gifts with my Gram, and we picked up a little toy car for my brother Larry.  Even though Gram told me to be sure and keep it a secret, I was so excited that I dreamed up what I thought was a clever little way to share the secret, without sharing the secret – or at least that’s what I thought I was doing.  So when Larry asked Gram and I what was in the bag when we got home, I just looked at him and said, “I can’t tell you.  It’s a secret.”

But when he didn’t beg me to tell him what the secret was, I began absolutely busting at the seams and within minutes belted out, “I can’t tell you what we got you!  It’s a secret!  It’s a CAR secret!”  And though I get teased about this year after year, I didn’t realize it was something I had become quite well known for – ruining surprises, that is, until last week when I called my out-of-state son and told him to expect a package I had sent from Bronner’s in Frankenmuth.  I then heard my daughter-in-law chuckling in the background ask, “Are you going to tell us what it is again?”  Wow, she really knows me!  (and I’m tickled)  And did I really do that again last year?  I did.

Since I’ve been stuck home with an annoying virus the past couple of days, last night and today I finished wrapping up all of my gifts and placing them under the tree, and though I’m excited about all of them, there a few in particular I cannot wait to give.  And I simply refuse to wait until December 25, so if I go out of my way to drive across town and just happen to be on your street, and you just happen to be home – you’re just going to happen to get your gift today.  And here is your heads up that I might even tell you what it is before you ever get it.  And yes – this actually happened today, and it’s only November 30th.

Today I drove across town to pick up some hand-made art projects that I can’t WAIT to give to a few people, and decided I CAN’T HELP IT!   I can’t!  By December 24, there will be nothing left under my tree to give.

Hello.  My name is Rita, and I can’t keep your gift a secret, and you’re probably going to receive it a month before Christmas, or your birthday, or whatever other holiday we are celebrating, and you are likely going to know what it is before you even open it.  I’m sorry, but it it seems as though I will very likely struggle with this the rest of my life.

I’m 62-1/2, and apparently I’m set in my ways.  That’s just the way it is, and the way that I am.

I am convinced tonight that the joy it brings me to see the reaction in the faces of those I gift, is but only a glimpse into how God feels when He gives us gifts and we recognize Him as the giver.  Gifts like three new grandchildren just this year, a job I enjoy, a cute little home I used to believe I’d never own, friends and family who sit around my kitchen table from time to time, and even the few lessons I’ve gotten to learn this year.  The list goes on and on, as I’m sure yours does as well.

I am sitting here tonight gazing at the magnificent lights on my Christmas, imagining that God must feel even more pleased when I acknowledge His gifts, and acknowledge Him as the giver, as I am when my loved ones open up the presents I’ve picked especially for each of them.

And I believe that’s why it truly is far more fun to give than it is to receive.  It’s like the gift of a chance to see things from God’s perspective on a much, much, much smaller scale – if we choose to, and I hope you do!

Yes, I drove across town tonight to drop off a gift, and I’m going to do that very same thing one night this week, because it’s still a secret – but it’s a cookie jar secret this time.

Merry CHRISTmas, everyone!