I spend 40 hours a week with cancer patients, and it’s always sweet when someone brings their spouse, a friend, or a family member to sit beside them during their chemotherapy infusion. No one should walk through this alone.
Recently, one of my close friends was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, and has begun the chemotherapy and radiation journey, their spouse beside them every step of the way. I know this couple. I know them really well. They rarely do anything apart from one another; 54 years of marriage, and everything they do, every decision they make, the other is always the focus of what drives what decision they make. (They will even cut a potato in half to share – but that’s a whole other story for another time!) It is so encouraging to me, even as a single woman, to watch them walk this married road together.
Yes, there is some anxiety about getting up early and going for radiation treatment, and praying there are no side effects following the intensive chemotherapy. But I’m always blown away and encouraged with every conversation following treatment, and when I ask how therapy went, my friend’s husband tells me all about who he had the privilege of praying with in the waiting room. He remembers all of the details of prayer requests from perfect strangers. They tell me about how they hope and pray that through “their” treatment, they can somehow find ways to point others to Christ. They are always focused on how they can be an encouragement to every person they have contact with, at every appointment. Credentials don’t matter. This couple will stop and pray over and with anyone who still has air in their lungs.
I realize that each of our lives will look entirely different, and that none of us are immune from hard life circumstances. And I am convinced that God has a way of taking us through hard life circumstances with very specific purposes in mind, and always in preparation for the harder stuff that comes as we age. But I’m also convinced He brings us some of life’s most difficult challenges for the benefit of those around us – not just ourselves.
My friends are at the age when some of their grandchildren are getting married, and soon their own grown children will hopefully become grandparents. Everyone’s watching. Everyone’s listening. Going through the good hard stuff in life with an eternal perspective speaks volumes to everyone around us.
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health… the vows young couples recite are most often repeated as they stare into each others’ eyes dreaming about their happily ever after. But live long enough, and everyone learns that life is never the fairytale we’ve grown up believing it would be. People get cancer, and then it seems we’ve gone from raising children to being faced with our own mortality. And hard stuff comes at us fast.
I can’t tell you because I don’t have the words to – how refreshing and encouraging it is to watch my friends live out the vows they said 54 years ago while they stared into each other’s eyes dreaming of the happily ever after. They’ve walked many times through the “for better or worse,” the “richer or poorer,” and now the “in sickness” part with an incredible grace that isn’t possible apart from knowing Christ. It’s just not.
And the coolest part is (and yes, there is a cool part to having cancer if you’re a born again believer), their walk through all of this is continuously pointing all of us to Christ. No fear, but a confidence in the finished work of Christ, and their identity in Him.
Mission accomplished, and what a gift to the rest of us. Bravo, my friends. Just Bravo!
Keep doing what you’re doing, because your kids are watching, your grandkids are watching, young couples are watching, I’m watching, and God only knows who else is watching. And it’s nothing short of supernatural.
I love you both oodles. xo Rita Bandita
“As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 ESV
Thank you Rita for this. I read this while I am at the bedside of my husband who is in ICU on a ventilator.