My daughter-in-law is pregnant. My newest little longed and prayed for, and already loved grandchild will arrive sometime in early August, God willing. In the meantime, a shower is in the works of being planned, the baby registry is being built, names are being discussed between parents, the nursery room is being prepared, and all of us are dreaming about the sweet life of this newest member of our family who we can’t wait to meet. Even prior to this nine months of waiting, we were all anticipating, dreaming about, hoping and praying for this child. And soon, we will anticipate every growth spurt, and every first – the first tooth, first smile, first laugh, first word, first step… with great excitement, celebration, and a million FaceTimes and Instagram photos.
It’s a peculiar, and incredibly fulfilling feeling as a grandparent to watch the babies you raised – raise babies. Mine are all grown up and, for the love of God – they both have silver hair! A couple of Christmas’s ago I overheard Rory say to his brother, “Ian, isn’t it weird how old we’re getting?” Silently, I chuckled and remembered that just like yesterday I was standing in front of the ironing board in our laundry room, ironing football decals on a light blue onesie in anticipation of Rory’s birth. I was on the phone with my friend Kim, at the time. I still remember the conversation we were having 33 years ago. So yes, it IS weird how old we’re all getting.
Time truly flies by, doesn’t it?
I am keenly aware of this because I can no longer do many of the things I was once able to do. Perhaps like you, I gaze into the mirror on some mornings and ask myself, “what happened?” And when I see my grandchildren run, jump, and tumble, I cringe now and think to myself, “Oh, that’s going to hurt one day!”
And ladies – it’s okay to laugh at ourselves.
I’m also keenly aware of the reality of death because I am an RN caring for cancer patients fighting to stay alive and have worked as a home hospice RN for patients and families aware and accepting that the end is inevitable. I have also spent a decade and a half in ICU bedside witnessing probably hundreds of deaths of those who were not ready to go. Every one of those deaths have been different. Several of them have left lasting impacts on me – stories I won’t ever forget. And so often I have wondered why we don’t as Christians, prepare for the end of our lives the way we prepare for the beginnings of lives. And then when we start approaching what we assume will be near the end, we do everything we can do avoid it.
And there’s no use always being on the run FROM our own aging process, or our mortality. We cannot hide from time, or find the right products to slow down the decay, and the futile quest for immortality will eventually lead to the harsh reality that death is a certain thing. And no amount of exercise, clean eating, drugs, or even physicians can do anything to prevent it. We’re all going to die.
Psalm 90:12 tells us “Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.”
Well, I want a heart of wisdom, don’t you?
I am not suggesting that we stay hyper-focused on death. What I am suggesting is that we keep a sobering and realistic mindset that we are not going to live forever. And as Christians, what do we do with that reality? I’ve met only a handful of Christ followers who have truly prepared for that, and the first person who comes to mind is my friend Jerry. He left a legacy. He was always telling me to keep an eternal perspective from the time my feet hit the ground in the morning, to the moments before falling asleep. Yet, how casually we say, “Thank you for another day, Lord,” and then flippantly and foolishly treat others we may never see again throughout that very same day – as if we’ll have tomorrow to make things right. We may not. Our feet just might not hit the floor tomorrow morning. So what, then?
I have lost count the number of couples at the end of their lives, facing the most difficult decisions, usually when one of them is no longer responsive or able to participate in those decisions, have no idea what their spouse would want done. Even after 50 years of marriage, I often hear, “We never talked about those things.” But yet, “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part,” were vowed to one another five decades ago, and those probabilities – no, those certainties, were never discussed until now? With me?
Discuss them. Make a plan. Get a will, an Advanced Directive, a Medical Power of Attorney. And live your life with an eternal perspective every single day. Stay focused on Christ because those growing up behind you who are noticing their own hairs turning grey and their joints starting to ache are watching you, and it matters not just to you, but to them – where your faith lies.
If you’re not already dead, you’re still on mission and how you walk through the aging process AND the dying process, is pointing everyone around you somewhere. Our final years, months, days, even hours, will reveal to those around us where we have truly placed our confidence. Christian brothers and sisters – we’re all on our way home, so let it be to Christ!
This. This is wisdom.
Paul said it best, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21 ESV
Always good words