More Than I Can Handle

In 1985 while sitting in my office in Korea, our mail carrier brought me a handwritten letter from someone, writing to tell me our friend Connie had been murdered in Italy a few weeks before.

That was way, way more than I could handle.

In 1991, at Loma Linda Hospital in San Bernadino, California, Mary Small, MD, did an ultrasound on me when I was about six months pregnant.  She told me my daughter had no brain and would not survive outside of my womb.  Then she asked me if I wanted to deliver now, next week, or just wait until I went into labor.

That was way, way, WAY more than I could handle.

When Jacquelyn was born on January 11, 1991, I held her lifeless little body all night, and someone came to take her from me the following morning – take her from me forever and ever.  Everyone in the room was watching me as I looked at my daughter for the very last time, and then stretched my arms out to give her to a stranger only to never, ever see her again.  That was so excruciatingly painful…   that I can feel it all over again even as I type this.

It was way, way too much for me to handle.

When I got divorced in Germany and had to travel home alone with an almost-2-year-old, while 7 months pregnant with my youngest with nothing but a couple of suitcases, and got stuck for a full day in the New York airport due to a snow storm, our foreseeable futures uncertain….

That was way, way more than I could handle.

When my Dad died and I had to sit down alone to tell my boys their Papa was gone…

It was way too much for me.

And in between all of those times that the Lord gave me way more than I could handle, He gave me a whole lot of other things that were also more than I could handle.

When my empty arms and I came home after having Jacquelyn, and I walked past the empty nursery I had prepared for her, a card had come in the mail.  It said, “God never gives us more than we can handle,” and I remember throwing a dish on the floor and smashing it in a million pieces.  And all I could think was, “Seriously? !!  THIS IS WAY, WAY MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE!”

Thirty four years later, I can’t help but laugh out loud whenever someone says that the Lord never gives us more than we can handle.

He. most. certainly. does.

He gave Shadrach, Meshach, and Abadnego wayyyy more than they could handle when King Nebuchadnezzar had them thrown into the furnace.  But He also showed up.  They walked out not even smelling like smoke.

What about when Jonah found himself in the belly of a fish?  His circumstances were way too much for him, and he cried out to God, and God heard him and answered.  Jonah 2:1-10

And let’s not forget about Daniel in the lions den, when God protected him all night long by shutting the mouths of those hungry lions so that David would live through the night in Daniel Chapter 6.

In Exodus Chapter 4, Moses told the Lord he was afraid to go to Pharoah and said, “I can’t do it!” because he knew it was too much for him, but God went with him, and told him what to say and what to do.

What about Naomi, Ruth, Esther, and Mary?!  All of their circumstances were way too difficult for them to handle alone.  But God…

I can’t help but wonder how differently things would have turned out, had each of them tried to handle their circumstances  by themselves.  And let’s face it – if He only gave each of us what we were capable of handling by ourselves, would we ever even cry out to God?  Be honest.  All of our prideful selves would likely just …   not.

Well thank GOD that each of them did!

And even though I’d never want to walk through my most painful valleys in life again, because I remember each of them all too well – I also recall the sweetness of an intimacy with God that I otherwise may not have known.

Each of those times in the past, as well as current and future ones will help mold both of us into who God plans for us to become.  And rest assured friend, there are more difficult circumstances coming.

The Lord longs for us to run to Him, just like we long for our kiddos to come running to us.  And when we do, our relationship grows and we grow to become more and more like His Son.  So YES!  God DOES most certainly give us much more than we can handle.  And it’s His faithfulness that will carry us through those days.

Isaiah 45:3 says, “I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.”

There are treasures that can ONLY be found in the darkest moments of our lives.  One of my biggest fears is that I could get so caught up in my pain and my hurt, that I’ll miss out on those treasures, and I don’t want that to happen.

Someone once told me that one of the most powerful prayers you can pray is a simple, “Help!”

So when you find yourself overwhelmed, facing what seems impossible, and you realize that your circumstances are more than you can handle, remind yourself that there is One who is waiting for you to run to Him, or to just sit still and cry out for help.  He is the God who hears.  So remember, a simple “Help!” is all you need to say.

“In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears.”   Psalm 18:6