I have been sitting here, literally, for hours, trying to find a way to describe in the most detailed and honest way, a 12-hour shift in the life of an ICU nurse. I have blogged about this many times before, describing the loveliest of patients and the most tender of moments spent with them in their last hours. But I have felt the need for months now, to tell you about the other days – the days spent with the least loveliest of people, and the most violent of situations we encounter. I want to tell you about the shifts when you get to your car after a 12-hour day, and all you can do is ball your brains out. I want to tell you why we sometimes have a tendency to lash out at the first person who annoys us when we get home, most likely a family member, as we walk in the door exhausted.
I’ve started this over and over and over…….. But I’m not doing that anymore. I’m just going to tell it like it is. Here goes………….
We are nurses because we love people. We are nurses because we have compassion. We are nurses because we want to help others to either maintain their health or return to good health. We are nurses because we believe no one should die uncomfortably or alone. We are nurses because we do not like to see people suffer. We are nurses because we want nothing more than to hold your hand, or the hands of your loved ones, as you make a necessary, but difficult decision. We chose this profession because we want to make sure people die with dignity and without pain, and if we can facilitate having your loved ones hold your hand while you pass, that’s a good day for us. Each of us has hundreds of stories. We don’t forget our patients.
Many of us have had some life experiences in our own families and circle of friends that included the death of someone close to us. We know what it is like to watch someone you love suffer. We know what it’s like to put your parent in hospice, or to care for a mother or father with dementia. Many of us have health issues of our own, and must see physicians on a regular basis. Some have soldiered through surgeries and intense chemotherapy and radiation for breast cancer themselves, or lost mothers to breast cancer. Some have buried their sons or daughters and their hearts are still broken. Some have volunteered to serve our great country and worked as nurses in Iraq during Desert Storm, helping to care for victims of the war. Some of those nurses have come back home without their friends because they were killed in the war. Some have buried their mothers and returned a few days later to work. And almost ALL of us have herniated disks, heel spurs, and sore muscles.
We really do love our patients. Often, we love their families as well. We know them for long periods of time, sometimes months or years. Trust is established. Friendships are formed. We are happy when they do well. We are sad when they die. We call or text on our days off to check on them. We can’t help it. We’re nurses. That’s just what we do.
And for all of these reasons, this is why when we experience the polar opposite, we sometimes, can’t help but cry.
In my short 7 years of being a nurse in the medical ICU, I have wrestled (with the help of my friend Tina), a patient who was a gang member, back to bed. He was trying to leave against medical advice, and was about to pull out a line that could have lead to him bleeding to death before anyone found him. He called me a “fat b—-,” remembered our names, and told us that he was calling his “thug friends” to get Tina and I in the parking lot. That was scary. Tina and I have families, children we would like to make it home to.
I’ve had a man come after me with a masterlock tied into a handkerchief because I did not know the results of his wife’s MRI immediately following having it done. (I’m a nurse, not a radiologist). While caring for alcoholics and drug addicted patients, we have ALL been kicked violently, punched, slapped, and spit on. We get threatened OFTEN. Verbal abuse is just part of our day.
It gets worse.
When we compassionately try to give someone the opportunity to quietly hold the hand of their loved ones while they pass, (because we know they are about to pass), we get threatened with law suits. We get called murderers. When there is NOTHING left that we or any physicians are able to do for a loved one, family members make phone calls, speaking very poorly of us, even calling us names, and then tell them that someone is on there way to give us a “rude awakening.” We are often calling security to protect us. We walk to our cars together, not alone.
We listen to the DEMANDS of family members who INSIST we turn their 500 pound loved one hourly, which takes every nurse on the floor, and we often wonder, who turned them when they were at home?? We stand there while we are accused of causing those multiple stage 4 bed sores, the same ones we had documented when they arrived on the floor from their home.
We listen to family members speak horribly about our colleagues, which just bonds us closer as a unit. Messing with one of our colleagues, is like messing with one of our children. It’s simply NOT okay. Ever.
When making the recommendation that someone be a hospice patient instead of torturing someone with advanced cancer and multi-organ system failure, the same patient who the family wants to be AWAKE so they can communicate with them, and so demand that we NOT give any pain medication, we get accused of just wanting our patients to die. So, we are told to continue torturing them and allowing them to experience extreme pain, just so that their loved ones can see their eyes open.
No. We KNOW they are going to die. We would just PREFER to let you have this time, allow you to hold their hand and BE with them, rather than us jump on their chests, break all of their ribs, and pump them full of chemicals, and then call the family back in to see them when it is much too late to hold their hand. We’re nurses. We’re compassionate. We don’t LIKE to do that.
Our hearts BREAK when we get accused of some of the horrific things we get accused of. None of us are murderers. None of us come to work anxious to watch people die and loved ones suffer. None of us. Likewise, after 12-hour shifts like this, NONE of us are emotionally ready to handle a fight with an ex-husband over what time the kids should be picked up, or answer to a friend why we forgot to call them. We sometimes get a little pre-occupied with “work.” Sometimes, all we can do is shower and crawl into bed. Please try to understand. We are physically and emotionally SPENT……
And please don’t say, “You ONLY work 3 days a week? You’re LUCKY!” (We spend much of our time off in “recovery mode.”)
And also don’t ever say, “You ONLY have 2 patients?” Chances are, we have 75 family members who flat-out refuse to follow the “2 visitors at a time” rule, and are all waiting for you to fix their coffee just right.
We’re compassionate, all of us. We all love people, and we love helping people return to good health. Please, please don’t abuse us and send us home in tears. Please!
And please, please, remember. Sugar-coated gummy bears. They really DO help…..
I cannot believe how accurate this is for EVERY nurse out there no matter where they work or what department! I hope more non nursing people read this so the next time they or their family members are in need of nursing care they understand just part of what we endure on a daily basis for the little pay we receive!
Thank you
Tired Illinois RN
I am a cna and have nurses as friends, well spoken and so true!!
You just broke my heart. I admire your heart in your job- i wish people were more respectful towards it and thankful to what they can’t do. I thought such love could only exist in daydreams untill i read this- gratitude and respect from me to you ❤️❤️
Very well written as a 40 year nurse I have to say a well written very soul touching. We are nurses!!
AWESOMELY written! I’ve worked briefly as a CCU nurse, and a Med/Surg nurse, and currently as a Medical Oncology nurse. I have witnessed much of what you wrote. It’s difficult to break through to families when their loved one is laying in that bed. But their are many that do see our compassion, and try hard to understand. This career takes it’s toll on us physically, mentally and deep into our soul!
Ohh my goshh is my life
Very well written. I work security in a 75 bed ER hospital. 10th busiest in the nation. My wife is a Nurse in the ICU step down unit in the same facility. The things I deal with on a day to day basis….even the cops dropping people off say my job is to dangerous. When we get a “code grey” (combative) or “Code silver” (weapon or hostage) on my wifes unit, it makes my heart stop. When I tell people the tings that go on in the hospital they truly don’t believe me. The violence, threats and abuse my wife sees from patients and family members that think they know more than a Doc that went to school for the better part of 13 years is mind boggling.
Your pain, as well as your joy, is totally understood by this guy. I am a 911 Dispatcher that dispatches Fire-Rescue and Law Enforcement (24 yrs) and have been a Reserve State Police Officer (FWC) for 34 years (Voluntary/non-paid). Funny how those of us that are considered “First Responders” share so much of that same trial and tribulation of service to others as our “cousins” in the Nursing profession. All we can do is hold our heads up, do our best and the final judgement of how we do is on a much higher level than we can see on earth. Keep up the good work and know that those who know and appreciate you far outnumber those that don’t!
I feel your pain and frustrations as they are my own. Expectations are so high of nurses that if you dare to believe that they are realistic, you are sunk. Each person you encounter during your shift has expectations… doctor, patient, families and friends, pharmacy, lab, therapists,dietary, radiology,manager, administration, secretaries, pcts, other nurses…. and I’m sure that’s not all the people who are quick to call upon you at any given moment. Many times its for information on one of your 5-6 patients that should automatically download to your “brain computer” after shift report. God-forbid anyone else should check the chart. The nurse should know it all. The nurse should be doing it all. The nurse should tolerate for 12-13 hours doing one task and being pulled during that task to do 5 others. I’ve often described to my non-medical friends a bad day at work is like running in circles (computer-pixis-patient) and being scolded for not running fast enough. I detest the ridiculous unrealistic expectations of each of the above listed… and have some days almost bitten my tongue clean off trying not to say what is really in my mind. But I love people. .. the ones who I’m so glad I met….the ones I’m so glad I work with, the ones who I believe cross paths with me for a reason. I believe that in so many ways I have been both blessed and cursed by this profession and most days the fragility and preciousness of human life and my ability to play such an integral role in the lives of others is enough to make running in circles a little more bearable. The other days I may cry and shout and vent and vow to never return…. but I get up and do it again.
this is a perfect way to reflect health care I work as a personal support worker and see this and I am a part of this daliy this does not only happen in hospitals it happens in health care always weather it be the hospital long term care home care thank you for writting this …I believe people should hear both side if the story I love my job and I dont think anyone could do the job if they didnt
Hugs from TX. I’m grateful to the nurses I’ve encountered, and now feel I need to send ” Thank you” notes to the ones who took such good care of me in the hospital a month ago.
Love this! I worked at a hospital on med/surg for about 16 years. I finally gave up and quit in April. Was going to quit nursing for good. Family and patients have become more rude and hateful. For a month straight I came home and cried myself to sleep. My husband has said to me that my job is not as physical as his. If I complain of pain, he says welcome to myworld. I have had two knee surgeries and was told I need total knee replacements. I have had kidney cancer. I have djd of my lower back with bulging discs. Arthritis kills me, just to name a few things wrong and I am only 40. I am trying a different job in nursing, but I have already decided this will be my last.
I am not a nurse, but have heard these exact words from an ICU nurse. And it is bad enough you get this from some patient’s family or some patient with an overblown sense of entitlement. “I want some chips.” at 4 a.m., but to hear someone in your family, who should have your back, say, “But you only work 3 days.” Wow. Just wow.
You explained ICU nursing wonderfully. I have experienced much of what you detailed. Nursing is a rewarding and exhausting life choice and I wouldn’t change my path at all.
That is a great explanation…you do have a very difficult job and a great bond with your colleagues. You are under appreciated and misunderstood, many don’t understand the pressure of the long shifts, various personallities, as well as, the multiple tasks required in a shift. You do need those days to recharge and rebuild to get on with the next shift, embrass it. You are like the brotherhoood of police and fire. DON’T talk about our brothers and sisters in blue. We need to start a sisterhood in white for ya. THANKS for the wonderful job you do and the useless mess you endure daily.
As an RN who has worked hospice, NICU, ICU, dialysis and other, I feel your pain. I have been exhausted enough to simply ask God to just help me get out of bed and I would do the rest. I have been blessed many times over.
WE DO LOVE OUR PATIENTS…..it’s WHY we are nurses.
I believe you have spoken for us ALL and I might add that I like a hug or a simple “thank you” even more than gummy bears!
When my late husband was battling inoperative lung cancer; I always made sure I had DARK chocolate kisses for the nurses. I laughed & told them that was their “bribe” for being good nurses.
I do not know the person who wrote this article as a personal friend or colleague but this article is amazingly wrote in words that truly describe a day in the life of an icu or for that matter any nurse who takes their job serious! I really enjoyed reading this and want to thank you for taking the time to make people get a little glimpse in our lives.
i feel the pain. i am crying now!
This is so true.I could add I was kicked in the head by a patient who was a doctor.I’ve been choked, had hand fulls of hair pulled out, bitten and not only was my life threatened many times but my families was. So after 27 years I could not take the abuse anymore and the abuse come from many sources as was mentioned but it also came from my employer.
I have been a nurse for over 40 years and before that I worked as a aid starting at the age of 17, I have seen ;the good times,bad times. better times and now these are the worst of times. the last 3 years have been extremely difficulty times with my health, I have had a stroke with seizures, diagnosed with RA and fibromyalgia and breast cancer. I have seemed to come through it all by the grace of God but I an so exhausted I nearly cry everyday I have to work. My doctors seem to think I need to just keep working. I have my own disability policy but GOD forbid if I ask them to file for me. This having been said I too love nursing but it is more a money maker than a care maker. the new health care has ;hurt us all and the bottom line is a dollar . as for management all they do is meet and cut the budget. If a nurse or assistant quits so be it just let the remaining nurses and staff take up the slack. And PLEASE chart on time perfect or be written up and your job be held over your head. Also remember that management walks around in heels and dressed perfectly and smiles that Fake smile and always how are you today like they really care. I am so ready to let it go not because of pt care but because of what it has become and how I feel but can not live. without it . I know I have rambled but at least I was able to vent. thanks to each and every nurse out there. .
well said….
I don’t usually read blogs unless they are by a nurse… because nurses GET nurses. I have been a nurse for 31 years now. I spent 24 of of them as a RN in the Emergency Room. For the last 2 years I have been a Case Manager for home hospice patients. It was a logical progression for me. If there is anything I know for sure after 24 years in the ER it is that it is OKAY to die, but it’s not okay to die in pain or without support. We have a biweekly meeting during which we talk about our patients with other interdisciplinary team members and continually revise a Plan Of Care. One of those team members is from the Spiritual Department of the hospice for which I work. We begin every meeting with a prayer for strength, wisdom and safety. More often than not, I find that I have tears dripping onto the table after the prayer (I am not particularly religious) and I am the only one who knows that the reason for the tears is that the words of support and acknowledgement of our very importany work is enough to open a floodgate of emotion that we learn to suppress in order to maintain professionalism in our work. Kind words are enough to make my day…
Great article, well stated! I ended my last ten years of my nursing career doing 12 hour shifts in labor and delivery…loved it!! But that doesnt mean tense moments didnt occur, far. from the truth! Each admission means AT LEAST two patients, and lots of responsibility…nursing is a very responsible and challenging job DAILY, so remember that when you have one to watch over you. We are the one-on- one eyes, ears, and hands on caregivers…we are there to report to physicians, and the medical profession couldn’t do it without us!!!
thank you for writing this. it is so true… and no one understands
20years in the ICU. You nailed it. It doesnt end. Now I am a NP and deal with noncompliant pts on a daily bases. They dont get it
Every word is so true. Bless our hearts…nurses!!
Yes nurses are kind, loving, and good people, much more often than most people. It is a shock when, in the face of love, care and compassion, you receive abuse, ingratitude, anger, and hate.
Nurses treat sickness of the body, that at time extends to healing of the emotions, of people.
Sometimes people at sick in who they are. It take much longer to heal or overcome.
Thank you nurses for being there for us.
God bless each and every one of you!!!!!
What a truthful description of our job. Well written. I have do e ICU for 15 years, 12hr, 3 day a week. I am a charge in Medical Icu and Stepdown. It is a hardest job, but I love it. Because I am a ICU NURSE.
That is hitting the nail on the head!
I am also an ICU nurse and this blog and the comments are so true for me and the nurses I work with. I have actually been threatened by family members many times. I worked with a sweet girl who was killed by her boyfriend, he walked into the facility with a gun and shot her.Be careful because it can happen.
You said it all. That’s why I am burnt out on Nursing after 24years. My license are going on the inactive status. I just can’t do it anymore.
The short time I’ve been a med/surg nurse patients and families can be very abusive and no matter how nice and caring we are they treat us nurses like the enemy
Very well said. I have been nursing for 29 years. I have had patients and families who have touched my life. I also have been threatened and rudely spoken to because I wasn’t fast enough. I am doing the best i can. I have see so much change in health care. Still unsure how things are going to be in the future.
The nurses are the back bone to medicine. They are the ones who are always there to do anything for you and help every inch of the way. Tufts Medical Center in Boston has the most incredible nurses in the world. We all know they are not there for the money (that’s for sure) and the care is top notch. You couldn’t find better care anywhere. The nurses are the BEST! Rated Number ONE.
Anita
I have been an RN for 23 years, 14 in the ICU. I have too had similar experiences. I have cried so many days. We see people in crisis and if there was a major dysfunction in their lives before the crisis, it’s like putting the dysfunction on steroids. We as the nurse end up in the middle. When you have a heart for people we try to be understanding of the impact of the crisis, the loss. We take care of the injured grieving mother who was hit by a drunk driver and lost her 6 y/o son in the crash and on the other end of the unit the man responsible. Trying to make right in your mind that this man who you are treating for a heart attack is also responsible for the grievous severe abuse and neglect of own grandchildren, yet treating him in a compassionate caring manner. I wept uncontrollably when I heard the tape of a little girl singing amazing grace to her comatose mother, whose boyfriend had run her over with his truck.
I finally left the ICU after the emotional and physical toll it took on my body. I love being a nurse…. sick you might say… It’s not for the above reasons, but for those times as you said Rita, helping people pass on thru this world, holding the hand of a loved one with dignity and peace. Sharing prayers and tears, bathing a patient and talking to them, letting them know someone cares, someone wants to take the time.
Beautifully put. I worked in a Trauma ICU for years caring for gang members and was threatened daily. Gang members would come in with guns. I have had flesh ripped from by arms, in addition to everything you mentioned. I was sexually assaulted working in the ED. The general public has no clue what Nurses have to put up with on a daily basis. I can no longer worker in the hospitals-I now am a Hospice RN.
Awesome article…….I am a patient care tech and love my profession…..so good to see that others feel and think the same……we r lucky to be able to help another human being…..feeling blessed:)
All those wonderful support that has been written by patience from their personal experience or by watching their loved ones die is great. I must be one of the unfortunate one who has had grumpy & down right nasty nurses almost every time I needed hospital care. This is my first time at being old I did not know how painful growing old would be. So yes I might be grumpy but never abusive. The care I received was appalling,I’m not going to mention any & many details but you can always tell the good & caring nurse from the ones that were there for the bucks.But thank God that almost at every shift there would always be one nurse who was an Angel send from heaven (truly)To those nurses I let them know how much better I felt by how I was treated. My husband ( lucky for him) has never encounter a not so friendly nurse ever
Every detail eloquently written… But we return for our scheduled shift ( or come in extra if short staffed to help our ” team”)…. As we pray each day will be a GOOD DAY … To touch lives in a positive way … To make a difference in someone’s life …. Because we are nurses… And that’s what we do !!!
Couldn’t have said it better myself!
I’ve been RN for 24 years and this is exactually how we all feel with our patients. I desperately try to be in family’s shoes sometimes it’s very hard though. Thank God for kind, compassion nurses that we all are.
Never worked in ICU but spent many years in Nursing Homes. Loved my patients and they felt closer than family a lot of the time for I spent 8 hours a day with them. Often more. I would like to applaud all nurses who work in Nursing Homes as well. We get told “we are not good nurses” :because we make this choice by other nurses and Drs., yelled at by patients, Drs., family and administration. Still they keep on doing it for the love of caring for the elderly.They are not responsible for the lack of help on the floor but they do their best to make sure that every resident get the best care they can provide under the circumstances. Many times I have had one of my nursing attendants, stationed at a resident’s bed who was about to pass on, so that they would not be alone, many had no family available.They are responsible for the Nursing Attendant’s even though they did not hire them and the administration will not fire the incompetent ones because a body is a body when everyone is quitting due to poor pay and working conditions.To you who choose a profession in which you give up family time, work weekends, get called in often on your day off, to whom 3-11, and 11-7 shifts are normal, and have a caring compassionate heart, that tries to make time for everybody I salute you.. No matter where you work or what department in the medical field.
So true… Very well written..
Wherever we are, we face same abuse…n we consider ourselves to b previleged to b nurses..??? Because that’s what we are…hugs to each other….
I’m not a nurse – don’t think I could ever handle that job. BUT I’ve been the daughter of a patient (my father) who died of cancer – I’m the wife of a man who went through 5X bypass surgery (with many complications after) and I’ve been a patient (both from surgery and in psych – had a breakdown after my husband finally recovered). Oh – and I had two children – so was a patient then too. I’m happy to say that all the nurses I’ve had experience with were wonderful. I also found out that not all patients felt that way. Some couldn’t stand some of the nurses. In my experience – if you treat the nurses with respect and kindness you get that back and then some! If you are selfish, disrespectful and flat out nasty to the nurses – then don’t expect all sweetness and smiles and to get everything your way. I’ve seen some nasty patients and my hat is off to you nurses who’ve had to deal with them. I’ve seen nurses stand still and take verbal abuse that was so nasty it made me want to cry! I’ve spent a lot of time in hospitals and I’ve never seen a nurse that was abusive. I’ve seen plenty that were stretched too thin due to cutbacks. I appreciate the article above. It’s well written and I just want to say a big THANK YOU to all you nurses!!! I think you are amazing!!! God bless you!!!
AMen I worked icu for 8 years and now Er for my third year . I agree whole hardly !! Well said my fellow Comrad well said!!!
Your words of pain are so true!!! I have been a nurse for 15yrs and have endured all of the above!!! Just know that God see’s us and knows our heart. After having a stroke at 38 years old I still try to remind myself of that. I love being a nurse and would not do anything else!!! I had the stroke because my carotid artery dissected, which I believe was from pulling on patients for all of these years. Yet I still want to be a nurse!! I hope that everyone that reads this truly takes it to heart!! It is truly the cold hard truth about nursing. Don’t get me wrong I have had a lot of patients that have been very thankful and very loving with great families!!!! But it only takes one bad patient or one bad family member completely ruin your day. Having a patient that was never leaves your mind ever!!! Thank you for saying what many nurses want to say but are unable to! ❤️
74 years old, retired. Worked pediatrics for years, really no abuse. Parents lost children but seemed to know that everything possible had been done. Then I went to long term care. The patients were wonderful but it was like relatives saw dollar signs. Their 94 year old mom was dying and we were to do everything to prevent it. It was just incredible. I did it for 3 years, that was all. Of course, all this with no pension or union. This is a right-to-work state.
Oh my. I loved my ICU days / hospital days. And I know god has a place for me now. However I’m never going back to the hospital again. Thanks to all of you for everything you continue to do. If I’m ever seriously I’ll one of you who believes in this blog will be at my bedside
It is good, we as nurses that get older, hold a memory like a mother in labor. We forget how bad the pain was. We as nurses remember the rewards we received from all the patients and families we grew so fond of, and especially those we know, we saved their lives. I left nursing for 8 years and worked as a Paramedic, talk about abuse, but as in nursing we loved it and made a difference, endangering our lives daily. Most of us work with no fancy retirement plans.
I am a retired LPN “veteran” of 45 years. Us nurses are all veterans and have lots of “war stories” to tell. I too have been punched, slapped and called every name in the book. I’ve been threatened and I think all of us female nurses have dealt with some sexual harassment from patients. I loved almost every minute of taking care of my patients, though I did have a problem with the attention seekers, especially when I had other patients who were so much sicker and who needed care more and I wasn’t able to give them the care they needed because of the attention seeker. My biggest problem in nursing was the total lack of appreciation we received from the administration. They’d work us so short of staff, we frequently had to do double shifts–16 hours– and work our days off and other than showing it on our paychecks, that”s all the notice it got and in fact, if you worked those days off and doubles too often, they were quick to take advantage and got a little demanding that you continue to do so. They didn’t seem to understand they were burning their nurses out real quickly by doing so. And I also saw a big difference in the nurses fresh out of school. When I got out of school and on the floor I was terrified and it was a year before I felt comfortable doing what I was doing. Now they come out thinking they know it all, looking down on older nurses or more experienced nurses, thinking work is time to visit and talk on their cell phones to their friends and don’t want to hear they may have done something wrong or that there is a better way of doing things. When I was in nursing school we were taught that team work is what it’s about and nowadays there is no teamwork. Nobody wants to help anyone else and the backstabbing that goes on is terrible. You have to worry about your job because of your co-workers and it was never like that years ago. We all pitched in to help each other and we all showed respect for each other. In fact, when I first started in nursing we called each other Miss or Misses, never a first name. That was back in the days of white hose and white dress uniforms and caps, and I was glad to see the end of that dress code, but not to see the way things were going the last 10 years or so that I was in nursing. I retired in 2010,
Love to hear that your team is cohesive
And care for each other
Omg! Brought me to tears, and I am a 25 yr veteran in nursing. What you say is true in every way. I have also been threatened by a gang leader, had to have private security when he was being treated, been spit on, scratched, kicked, slapped you name it. Eating lunch on the run or not at all. Discovered after 10-12 hours of working that I haven’t been to the bathroom all day, and held the frail hand of a patient while they were dying, because their family couldn’t be bothered. Yet, the only thing I would rather be doing is maybe crafting, lol. I really couldn’t imagine doing any other occupation. Keep the faith, u provide a great service, as do all of my icu nurse friends and co workers.
I don’t work ICU I am a tele nurse but I completely agree with the unacceptable abuse we endure. I spend so much of my shift trying to please people who are mad over things that are completely out of my hands and choose to try and calm the situation so they will get off my back. I often leave at the end of the day so irritated and upset it makes me almost dread coming back the next day. I love my job and the days I have the sweet thankful patients and family but sadly it seems that that is becoming a rare occurrence. I seem to deal with rude, non appreciative, non compliant patients that want to make everyone’s day miserabl more often. It has become to break me down as a person and it breaks my heart. We all got into this profession to help people through tough times in a multitude of ways but I feel that the mentality of society now days is all about Me and mine and I want it now, I don’t want to wait! I hope people can understand our time is precious and we are trying all we can to help, we are here for you and your family so please allow us to be there and put faith in our abilities to care for you!
I love you Nikita Miles Layson. And all other nurses just like you. I know losing your brother made you the nurse you are today.
on top of being a waitress and babysitter for the 4 year old allowed to run up and down the hallway, you get hit with management who wants to know ‘why you haven’t answered the call light for you patient n a timely manner’.? Hmmmm…maybe because I’m making coffee and bringing soda to the 9 visitors for another pt. who sees the opportunity to visit as a cotillion. OR….coraling of the 4 year old who wandered into someone elses room and wanted to play witht he IV pump on wheels!! Wonder??
It is sad to hear about the abuse that occurs. I appreciate the nurses who exemplify what it means to work in this profession.
I had surgery the day after my birthday not too long ago. I had to stay at the hospital for 4 nights. On the day of my birthday, my family members went to the room at the same time. I was so excited to see them because birthdays are a big deal to me. After not even 5 minutes of greeting me happy birthday, a nurse walked into my room looking extremely irate. She whipped off the plug of my IV and started wrapping it around the machine and rudely stated in front of all the visitors, “I TOLD YOU 2 PEOPLE AT A TIME. IT’S HOSPITAL POLICY!” I totally understand that rule, and it was going to be followed, but the nurse didn’t even give me the chance to let them know that we had to go to the waiting room just down the hall. What upset me the most was HOW she acted, and I confronted her. I refused to be treated like that… This was the same nurse who lectured my roommate about following the “orders” from the nurses at the hospital; not her daughter who is a nurse somewhere else. The same nurse who said, “Listen to us because WE get paid the big bucks.” I don’t care if you get paid big bucks.
The nurse I had overnight was the best. She knew I had trouble sleeping so she crept up to see if I was awake every night and talked to me like a friend. It was so genuine. She explained things to me in detail. She made the whole experience better.
So thank you to all the nurses who do what they do for the right reasons. And I will keep the mean words to myself to the nurses who are in it just for the “big bucks,” and clearly don’t really care about the patients.
Very nicely written, it brought tears to my eyes, because everything you said is accurate as to what we do on a daily basis. I have achieved my BSN and recently my MSN. Many times in lectures the professors will talk about the nurses responsibilities. When I start to think about and really comprehend what the professors are saying, I begin to feel so empowered. I am so fortunate to find a career that I love and have such passion for, however to be able to help someone or advocate for patient if a physician isn’t listening to their requests, is a great privilege to be apart of that patient’s life. As nurses, we do deal with a lot every day, and you nailed it on how 3 12 hour days isn’t really THAT lucky because we are so emotionally, and physically spent. Because we all have so much compassion, as you mentioned, we bring that home on our shoulders. There wasn’t even the mention about the pressures of the administration that we have to deal with. Thank you for writing this. I don’t think the average “Joe” realizes what disrespect and high demands nurses deal with at times.
As long as said gummy bears are not sweetened with sorbitol!
Amen to everything you said!
As a veteran nurse and past hospice administrator I can honestly say that this blog unfortunately is so right on. And how sad is that? Love a nurse. Thank a nurse. And remember, sometime in the future, we will ALL need a nurse so BEHAVE yourself!
There is no reason to “endure” abuse. Maybe one obligation being overlooked here is the one where our patients are not subjected to the insanity of a dysfunctional hospital environment where the employees “endure” abuse because of misplaced loyalties. Your bosses OWE you a safe, sane and adequately staffed and compensated work environment. You trained for it; you worked for it; you show up and “represent” every day. The optimal work environment for you is also that for your patient. “Enduring” abuse is not only seriously bad role modeling for the abuse victims we care for (and they all are, one way or another), it KILLS people, including Nurses!
I’m not training for this field to make some fat cat administrator or insurance company exec a six figure salary. Sorry.
If you’re enraged and in tears, take it to the front office, not the parking lot! While you’re at it, take your pissed off and beaten up co-workers with you. It’s the best damn thing you can do for your patients.
You softened that far more than you should have. Being critical care for 20 years now I can say there is not much we have not witnessed. Noone understands the walk of being a nurse. Being at the bedside is rewarding and thankless. Administrators who have no soul calling for less staff . The government who truly want people to die but make it look like everything was done and a society that feels entitled to everything with responsibility for nothing.
Ok. My wife is a nurse and I am thankful for nurses… but in my job I have worked well over 50 plus hours a week at times.. I have gone in at 8 am and didn’t see my family again until 7 am the next morning. I get called out in the middle of the night to work on someone’s equipment and only get cussed out and f bombs dropped on me after I fix it and save a load of groceries that where on there way to people’s tables. .. I don’t like getting called out at all hours of the night to go work in the back allies of business’s and have to look over my shoulder constantly so I dint get shot or mugged… I understand death and people’s families get aggregating but if your going to complain about your job as a nurse then quit. .. For God’s sake … families of patients do not care about your feelings, just like the people I get out of bed for at all hours of the night to help and after I help they cuss me out over the bill and threaten me… I appreciate everything that nurses do and I love my wife wife very very much and I’m proud of her being a nurse , but I have never seen a profession that someone goes to school for and complains so much …. fireman do not go around complaining that the fire is too hot …. so please bite the bullet and understand people are ass holes in this world and to those people what you do is never going to be good enough. That goes for every profession… There are a lot of good patients out there, why let the ass hole ones get you down so bad…. Please don’t take work home with you. Your husband’s and kids did not ask you to be a nurse. Some of us never knew how mean you be when you come home to us and you had that nasty patient, my wife was in school to be a nurse when I met her so I never knew how she was going to be until her first month of working ……. I have also been a fireman and a medical responder… I have seen death first hand and heard families screaming so don’t think I haven’t seen what death can be like to person who had tried to save people…..
Your blog sure sounds scary. But as I decided to work as a CNA first and continue to finish my RN I know this is very true. As an assistant only I get pulled into thousand directions and to top it alll off I get to hear that I’m only a CNA and that it is my job to wipe someone just because they don’t feel like wiping themselves or their own family members. That is very insulting to me. It is one of the reason why I want to finish my RN but my one and main reason is because while I also endure abuse I also get the one patient who held my hand before their DC and tell me how much better they feel because of my care. That alone makes it all worth it and gives me much more desire to finish my RN. I want to make a difference in someone’s life even if to thousands it doesn’t mean much what I do; I know that to one or two I will make in impact.
There was no mention of managers / administration who dont do Direct patient care… absent ancillary staff … constant interruptions.. no meal or bathroom breaks… longer than 12 hr shifts to sometimed start & finish charting all the things done thru out the day…
As an 85 year old retired hospital worker, from Phsy Tech, attendant, LVN, and retired as Material Manager, I am so concerned with the way nurses are treated now. Recently had breast Cancer surgery and found that nurses carried a phone in their pocket. They would come to care for me, and their phone would ring, they were needed somewhere else. While walking me one morning the supervisor asked her, How many patients have you walked?? As a bed patient, I was never given a pan of water, a towel or wash cloth. I wore the same gown 3 days. When the nurse came in, she went directly to the computer at my bedside, and input ???? Then would turn to me and say, Here is your meds, and left. This is at one of the large HOSPITALS. So glad I did patient care when patients were treated so differently. I can only thank all nurses to continue their work.
Everyone forgets about nurse aides…I got the snot beaten out me everyday when I worked in the Alzheimer’s unit at the nursing home I work out. The family members of residents I look after don’t think that we check on them enough or are taking care of them. The residents who aren’t confused, maybe a few who are, ring the call bell the most and are the same ones who call their families and tell them that we are neglecting them.
Residents I work at know that they can get you fired by making an allegation against you, or maybe. just have you suspended for months without pay because they don’t like you
Many of the residents I work with know that they can hit you and they will not get in any trouble . It only get reported the state when a resident hits another resident.
My daughter is a trauma nurse at a huge medical facility in eastern PA. She worked 12 hour shifts up until the day she gave birth last week to her first child. She, like her colleagues, are warriors. They deserve our utmost respect.
As a pedi RN, i I get verbally abused by some patients family almost on a daily basis. Not easy but I try to remember I am here for my patients and will go extra mile to deliver the best care to my patients. They come first!
Rita, as a respiratory therapist I see exactly what you are saying. I work many days in ICU/CCU and ER and see and experience the same things. When I come home my husband sometimes don’t understand the decompression time that I need, or if I have a really bad day why I’m crying on the couch. It’s hard for all of us in the medical profession these days, family members demanding more than sometimes we can deliver, but do our best. Watching while in a code as you are trying to do your thing, trying to detach yourself emotionally from the emotions of the family at bedside is so hard sometimes. Working as a team has it’s benefits, being supportive of one another is essential. On the other hand, bringing smiles to the patients themselves have benefits as well. I try to make them smile everyday and that’s hard after being in the field for 23 years, because behind that mask of smiling always lurks some sadness due to stresses or other patients you may have lost an hour before. Let’s give it up to all of the medical professionals out there who work hard everyday to make sure that care is given and life is sustained, that even though quality of life is in question we do our best to make that patient as comfortable as they can be even though we know what the end result will be.
I love how nurses share and we have to acknowledge there is stuff that we put up with but I would not give it up for the world! I am truly honored and proud to be a nurse!!
I’m a nurse I now do a type of bodywork called Zero Balancing it is like structural acupressure. What I have found all the years I have been a nurse is that nurses forget the most important rule is to take care if ourselves. I suggest that every nurse is provided with some type if body work to nourish themselves and their souls. In order to best tske care if others we need to learn how to take care of ourselves and set boundaries. My suggestion to those families and patients that provide us with edible goodies. Think about a gift certificate for a massage for that nurse who has provided such good care to you or you loved ones.
I had one of these days today….broke my heart. It’s nice to remember I’m not alone in this.
This should be printed on all our visitor pamphlets! You nailed this! I’ve been an ICU nurse for more than 40 yrs and I’ve experienced all of this, the good and the bad, the happy and the incredibly sad. But, as you said, that’s why I’m a nurse.
You have written well! Been working with acute care patients for 34 years, most in telemetry care, where we call ourselves the train station cause we get everything. I have had many of the experiences you have written about and more.
After 24 yrs of Nursing, all I can say is take care of YOU!!! Your employer will not worry about the abuse and stress you go through, nowadays it’s all about the money the “customer” can bring in. The day our patients became our customers things started to go downhill. If you feel so much stress that you have to go home and cry….talk to someone, a close nurse friend, a counselor, anyone. It can catch up with you over time, nurses wouldn’t burn out if we actually looked out for ourselves. And when you hear something good you did, or how you touched someone’s life, hold onto that, to help you thru all the bad times…..because THAT is why we all became nurses!!
And this why I work in recovery room. Short stay, little to no families, more freedom to supply much needed pain control. I’ve been an RN for 20 years and I hope to never go back to floor or ICU nursing. I felt like a glorified waitress when I worked on the floor. Never have I had an upset patient in PACU. Maybe a rare disgruntled family member (due to circumstances beyond my control.) I have found my nursing niche. I was much more tired and disgruntled in past nursing experiences even though I was only 20 something years old! My work life balance is great now!
While I earned my BSN in the early 90’s, I deactivated my license in the late 90’s with the hope of never returning to nursing. You might think, “Oh, a crappy nurse,” but actually I am an excellent nurse. I came back to nursing 5 years ago and after 3 years determined that little had changed. In fact, it was like drinking poison every day.
Administration and nurse management continues to demand that more and more tasks (bedside report, med passes, hourly bed checks) be completed for MORE patients in LESS time. Never mind all the other tasks that occur during admission (complete history, assessment, med reconciliation, IV start, etc., etc.) or discharge (pulling central lines, providing patient education re: new meds, s/s of complications, making sure the pt can afford the meds ordered, arranging transportation, et al.). Don’t forget that you have another 5-7 pts to care for while managing those tasks.
I came into nursing with the hope that I would have the opportunity to actually provide competent, compassionate care for each of my patients. Instead, I busted my ass playing beat-the-clock. That does NOT allow me to professionally assess, chart, contact the physician, note and execute orders, pass meds, ambulate/cleanse/educate patients, comfort families, admit/discharge pts, provide pt education etc.
Anytime I hear that someone is considering nursing as a career, I ask if that is what they always wanted to “be.” If so, I encourage them to pursue it. If not, I encourage them to choose any other profession. Too many think they are going to make lots of money. Not only is that not true, they have no grasp of the price they and their families will “pay” for the money they do receive.
Should I ever be so ill that my life requires hospitalization, I can only pray that I heal enough to get out and end my life with dignity. Articles like this, and the common thread of understanding in the responses, simply reinforce my desire to never, ever, return to nursing.
My wonderful 25 year-old daughter is a nurse. She studied hard for 4 years and works as a Peds nurse on a transplant unit of a Children’s Hospital. She’s smart, compassionate and works her ass off! She gets paid squat and puts up with abuse from her patient’s families and the friggin’ doctors, wtf? She suffers from terrible migraines, probably due to the stress. So on her days off she spends most of her time recovering from the days she worked and dealing with the excruciating pain of the headaches she endures. She never calls in sick, even though some days she has to excuse herself from her patient’s rooms to puke due to the nausea caused by the migraines. Does she ever complain? No!
Those of you with family in the hospital or there as a patient yourself, please know that these nurses are amazing. They put you before themselves in most cases. I love my daughter, she enjoys her job, but I’d welcome her to move home if she wanted to give it up and go back to school to pursue another career!
I am an ex cardio pulmonary step down nurse, now picc placement nurse and I’ve never read something that so perfectly describes what it’s like to be ‘me’!!! This hits home to the point I’m crying right now thinking about ‘rosemary’ who pulled her trach and in essence ‘committed suicide’ but who waited to do it because she tried when I was her nurse and after multiple attempts, I sat down with her explained it meant death to her if she succeeded. She expressed to me she knew that and she would rather die than to live a life no one listened to her. Rosemary and I became very close over the month she was my patient, and I promised her that I would let EVERYONE I could know that she was DONE, and I KNEW she was not the mentally incapacited woman everyone treated her like, and that if she could wait until after her family conference in the morning then I would do everything in my power to give her the end she so desperately wanted….. All of you nurses know what an aware vented patient is like (typically described as ‘high maintenance’ because they ALWAYS are on their call light etc) rosemary warms my heart to this day, because SHE TRUSTED ME and I delivered what I promised her. I told her I did not want to ‘tie her down’ because I knew that I would have to call the dr if she kept pulling her vent and that they would order wrist restraints to prevent her. I told her that I knew she didn’t need them, I knew she really was done, and I didn’t want her to live her last hours tied to a bed knowing that she was a fully competent woman able to make her own decision. Rosemary DID NOT touch her vent or trach the remainder of my overnight shift. I was called by a coworker (bless her soul) the following night (which I was off) who expressed that rosemary and I had a special bond, and she felt it only fair to call me and let me know that Rosemary did not touch her vent all the way till the end of her family conference, and when the conference was over she pulled her entire tach and vent out effectively committing suicide. I asked what the result of the family conference was (knowing full well I had left notes, told my charge and daytime charge of her intention, and making a point to contact her hospitalist to tell them of her intention), she told me that they decided to continue with full code and necessary intervention. I truly loved rosemary, I rubbed her feet, read her mail to her, talked with her (despite her being unable to talk) every night I was on, for over a month. With me she was never on her call light because I made sure someone was back to check on her when I said a time even if it wasn’t me. She changed my life, and i can only hope I made a difference in hers. And when confronted with her optional death, my first thought was ‘good for you rosemary, thank you for trusting me like I trusted you’…..some of you may hear that story and think I’m in humane to think such things but I’ve seen a life worse than death and would not wish it on my worst enemy. I am going to repeat, I LOVED rosemary and loved being her nurse, and it was not an error I made by allowing her free movement, she was entirely orientated, she made her choice but it wasn’t for my lack of trying. I’m now 8yrs out from that experience and I love rosemary and the lesson she taught me that night. Listen to your patient, care about them like they are your family, and love them deeply…. Sadly I do not trust family and occasionally distrust drs but I 1000% trust my patient. I am their protector and if all I can do is let them die with dignity, that is my honor to give them!
As a retired Critical care nurse of 33 years, I can relate to all the comments made by Critical Care Nurses. ICU Nurses and just about every Nurse in any department. I have seen it all, been through it all, spat upon, cursed, condemned, intimidated, kicked across the room several times. had my glasses broken, had ligaments torn in both wrists (by a patient)requiring surgery and six months of rehab both times, arthroscopy to both knees, TKR left knee 2 years before I retired,. Worked 12 hr shifts-actually longer sometimes. I would leave at 6am and not get home till 830, 9pm or later. There is no 7am to 7pm shift. Have you ever gotten off on time? Maybe on a rare occasion! I still have nightmares re to not being able to complete my shift and all the work involved and then there was the God awful conversion to being completely paperless. And then there was always the great feeling of saying I love my job and that is why I do it (despite all the above). It was truly a rewarding fulfillment of my dream.
Well said, it isn’t pleasant to be abused for something you love doing. However there is always that one person that will tell you how brilliant you are, as I myself experienced on a journey home from london yesterday.
I have been a nurse for a little over 4 years, prior to that I was an anesthesia tech in the OR and nursing assistant. I now work in home care, while very rewarding it also has it’s very real dangers. Imagine a family angry with a diagnosis- but your in their home, alone no team members to back you up. I have learned to park on the street. Never in their driveway. Also in home care we do just about everything done in acute care. IV’s, wound vacs, meds, catheter management. Most patients aren’t as sick as those inpatient, but our home care patients are becoming more and more critically ill every day as the Medicare changes take effect. I love being a nurse and don’t think I will ever do anything else.
Thank you soooo much, everyone, for your kind responses, and your comradery in the great profession of nursing, your support, and even for your humor. I cannot respond to each of you, as I have literally received hundreds of emails. But here are 2 more blogs I think, as nurses, you will likely enjoy 😉 The biggest of blessings to ALL OF YOU!!!
Nurses, & Miracles in the ICU – https://kitchentabledevotions.com/nurses-miracles-in-the-icu/
Nurses, Tears, & Gummy Bears – https://kitchentabledevotions.com/nurses-tears-gummy-bears/
Perfectly said…sorry to say that more nights than not I’m brought to tears. However, just when I think I cannot bear one more night a small gesture of appreciation from a pt, child, or family member brings me back.
33 yrs as a nurse provides me with a tremendous amount of insight. Nursing is a calling, and that gets us through the obstacles. When I have my RN moments, when I know I made a difference; I am reminded why I chose this profession. I am enlightened by a couple RNS that have only a couple yrs in the profession that have renewed my faith. Chelsea, & Katie (a young RN I met at the wellness fair @ Homer City Power Plant a couple weeks ago) I am so excited by their selflessness, excitement, and “getting” what it’s all about. Long hours, off shifts, working weekends. knowing it’s a part of it. Helping by covering a shift when the RNS that don’t get it call off.I may have digressed, but thank God for the future of this honored profession that is in their hands. It’s so sad that not all RNS embrace helping their fellow RNS, But The Great Ones Like Chelsea and Katie will keep it real. Thanks to all my great fellow RNs, LPNs, and CNAs. We all need each other!
How do we teach this in nursing school?
So true… especially the ” You only work 3 days a week” comment.. gets so deep under my skin. STOP IT!!!!
I am a nurse of thirty years. I am extremely lucky, because I found a wonderful man to marry, who supports me in so many ways. AND, I have a wonderful job. When I speak with new nurses, I try to explain to them, nursing is a real job. It is a real job for good money. No, I will never be rich as in money, but in life I am extremely rich! I drive a hour to work, and when I get there I greet those around me with a smile and pleasant greeting. Sometimes, I have had people say to me, ‘what are you so happy about.’ I tell them I love my life and I love my job, what can be better. One day a patients family member said to me, ‘I could never do what you do!’ I asked what they did for a living and she replied ‘a teacher.’ I cupped her elbow with my hand and said, ‘this is why God makes so many different kinds of people, I could never be a teacher.’ As I look back I can remember my mother telling me that her mother wanted to be a nurse, but that was back in 1915, hardly a time for a woman to go to school. They were to get married, and if they had to work, they worked as housekeepers, maids or waitresses. I hope my grandmother is looking down on me and proud of me. Well, yes, I am getting older and hurting more, but have no plan to retire soon, and anyway, isn’t that part of getting old. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I stopped working. I have also told student nurses, if you don’t want to work hard, cry, laugh, bend, strength, lift, carry, run, miss holidays with your loved ones-then maybe they would be better off finding another profession. I have done a lot of it in thirty years. Was going to say, I have done it all, but no, there is still hope for me out there to ‘do it all.’ I just pray God stays with me and allows me to continue, well, maybe I could make it another ten-twenty years…What do you think?
Multiply this by 6 patients minimum, never mind acuity, just admitted from PACU in “stable” condition, ages 0-99 without their family or belongings, in pain, not yet in the”system” or connected to the ordered Paraphernalia for monitoring, while working with staff “floated” from anywhere available, where personalities, & credentials come before principles, and everywhere you look there are reminders of mandatory meetings, certifications, new policies & procedures, where productivity is reevaluated every four hours to determine who (RN) stays or goes, not that it matters you still have 2 hours of electronic charting to do, of course all our work is done around the attending MD’s schedule, no matter what time you leave you will be back at 6:45 am the next day. Welcome to a Med Surg floor! We are nurses, we care, this is what we do!
Yup. Plus the constant likelihood that you’ll be pulled to a floor where you know no one and can’t find anything, without regard for whether you feel comfortable with the patients of that floor (I worked neuro, and, while I went to nursing school and passed the NCLEX, I lived in fear of being pulled to a cardiac floor). Plus, you can’t see your patients. I later worked neuro ICU, which was a different kind of stressful.
Nursing has to be rewarding, or nobody would tolerate the bad parts. 😉
I’ve been an ICU nurse for over 10 years and you are right thank you for the blog.
I have often said that this is the only profession where we get yelled at for doing our job
I work as a nurse in the ICU and over the years have endured a fair share of direct physical abuse. Two things I have come to learn are 1: often the doctors are not on the nurses side. When a patient becomes delirious and abusive their first thought of the dr is not how can I protect the patient and staff it`s often, what has the nurse done or not done to elicit this delirium. If the lights are off during the day to allow a patient to nap we are interrupting the sleep wake schedule thus eliciting delirium. If the lights are on and a tired patient is wide awake then we are told that they are delirious because we are not allowing them to nap. If they are pulling at lines and we restrain them then we are told this makes them more agitated, but if we don`t restrain them and they do pull out a line then we are at fault. If we give benzodiazipines to help settle the pt we are told that these meds can make agitation worse. And if we don`t give these drugs and the pt`s agitation worsens we are asked why we did not give them anything. This continues on and on. Nurses in the ICU want patient`s awake and alert and ready to transfer, at the same time we want them to be safe to themselves and others. The second thing I have noticed working in an ICU with older cardiac pt`s is often there delirium and aggression has nothing to do with their personality. We have had the sweetest patients during the day become the most aggressive at night. I once had a patient attack me as I was doing my hourly checks I restrained him and called his wife as per our policy. When she came in and talked to him, she told me he thought he was back in a concentration camp where he had been as a child and that I was a prison guard. The point I am trying to make is often the pt`s agitation is unpredictable and involuntary but at the same time we as nurses need to be given resources to deal with this and not blamed for it.
People really don’t understand! We’re educated professionals. We have degrees and years of experience. All people think is how nurses have it made, always hearing little comments about how much we make. I have had really difficult jobs in the past and nursing is the hardest. We leave work physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted! I don’t know any other jobs, except for other caring professions, where a person leaves work without an ounce of energy left. Many nights I can’t even talk to loved ones because my mind is overwhelmed. I miss the days of just coming home physically exhausted! The expectations put on us by the hospital, doctors, management, patients, their families, and ourselves are too great. We are human beings, I want people to realize that!
Having gone through the ending situations with my parents, I so appreciate what you nurses do. Thank you for being there, helping, knowing what is best for our loved ones, to help them and us with all that is NEEDED during the end. Thank you for being nurses that go way beyond just medicinal care! Sue
I am a nurse who practiced in the 80’s and 90’s and finally had to go on disability in 2002 due to anxiety attacks while working as an operating room nurse. I had worked the last 17 years of my career in the operating room and I dearly loved it. But the continued high stress environment had taken it’s toll on me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar with anxiety and depression. Although this disorder runs in my family, the stress off my job contributed to the demise of continuing being a nurse. I tried to return to the work I loved so much several times over a five year period and finally realized that I would not be able to give my patients and colleagues the best care they deserved. Being able to help doctors, nurses, and patients was a calling from God. In performing my duties, it gave me the most satisfaction and good feelings I believe God had intended for me on earth.
On March 28, 2014 my husband at age 61 was having severe chest pain. I took him to the ER and they treated him with expedient life saving measures. After determining he was having a heart attack, they took him straight to ICU. I was allowed to remain at his bedside 24 hrs per day. This was wonderfull to me, knowing that it may have been the last few days I might have with him. I’m thankful for this, because in the 80’s, this was not allowed. After having a heart cath the next day, the doctors told us that he had TWO 100% blocked arteries in his heart. They inserted a balloon pump into his heart to maintain the oxygen levels in the blood. He then had a bypass of those two arteries. It saved his life! Several doctors asked him “why are you still alive”. These doctors have not seen anyone survive blockages like these. This made my husband and I to reevaluate our lives and try to understand why God allow my husband to continue to live with me by his side. We were having problems after 16 years of marriage, and this life-altering occurance has made us realize that God has a purpose. We now are very close to each other and spending every day together, for he is unable to work any more, makes us view life in a different perspective. Also we Thank God and the doctors and nurses who helped both of us through this terrible ordeal. Salute to Desoto Baptist Merorial Hospital in Southaven, Mississippi. Most wonderful care from a caring staff at this Hospital. Thank You from the bottom of our hearts.
Sandra Nichlos
Cheers to the well written excerpt from the life of a ICU nurse (or really any other inpatient staff nurse)! You nailed the highlights, but too bad there’s not enough time or space to list all the types of abuse nurses are forced to endure at the hands of patients, families, friends, and other staff. Yet, it’s a calling. You either love it or you’ll end up leaving it.
YES!!! Thank you for articulating this so well. You have my utmost admiration for sticking it out as long as you have. I burned out after only 2 years in ICU, and have moved on to Hospice nursing, where I am happier and more content than I have ever been in 18 years in the medical field (13 as a Paramedic, 5 as a nurse). May your good days outnumber (by far) the bad. (((cyberhugs)))
Thank you for this. I have never before read such an accurate description of what the life of a nurse is like. I too have gotten home from a 12 hour shift, having a full urinal dumped on my head, punched in the face, or held the hand of a dying person….to the argument with the ex, or “you only worked 3 days this week, why isn’t the house clean”. So well written. Thank you
I am not a nurse but I work with some of the best nurses an it so true of what the nurse wrote our hearts goes out to family who have to loose there love ones but sometimes the nurse hope they understand and stop treat nurses like crap and love them for been their for to make there love one and family comfortable and pain free
Awesome it explains our life to a T . We on the floor deal with this and PTs from icu complaining that they are not getting the care they got in icu. We’ll on the floor we have 5 to 6 PTs each. We try to answer request as quickly as possible but sometimes it takes a few minutes. It makes night when things are going good feel like Heaven. So here is to the guys and girls of nursing.ay God bless you with nerves of steel compassionate hearts and the patients of Job
After having 2 daughters in the NICU, I have nothing but the utmost love and respect for their sweet nurses. They let me talk until I was blue in the face, they comforted me when One of my daughters went septic, they were sweethearts to answer all of my questions. I did have one funny nurse tell me that I should never dress my preemie in red (she has beautiful red hair and it just clashed with the outfit). Made me giggle. I love my NICU nurses!!!
I am a semi-retired RN,BSN,WOCN nurse. I have been on the caring end of patients & recently on the family end when my husband was coded & didn’t survive. I can’t say enough about all these almost 30 years of nursing. My co-workers have been amazing. I have also cried over patients that I have followed for several years when they died, as they were almost like family. Nursing is a complex profession & even with the ups & downs I don’t think I would have chosen any other profession. I have a daughter who is also an RN in a neonatal intensive care unit. My youngest son has also become an MD. I would recommend this profession to anyone who is caring, empethetic, & willing to give it their all. The rewards are countless.
Peggy
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was not an RN but I was 40+ year Nursing Assistant. I have a lot of stories as well. You said it well and reading the experiences made me cringe. I retired, am glad I did but I do miss taking care of patients and miss my co-workers. A family member, once, tried to give me extra money to take extra care of his Father…Highly unethical!
I’ve seen how hard aides work! Thank you! I also apologize for the nurses that didn’t give you the respect you deserved!
The Lord provides us with the power to go on each day. We are nurses because we love what we do. Certainly not for the money, the thanks or the hospital standing behind you when things get tough. Our patients are our family. We worry when we leave them to go home. We bring them special gifts to make them smile. We talk to them to get their mind off their bad day. Even if we have failing relationships at home. Even if we are facing cancer. Somehow our problems do not seem so bad.
But we need to be careful……
Sometimes we work so much we burn out. We are expected to continue to come fill our shift, then fill another shift and before you know it you haven’ t had any days off. Then we are useless to ourselves, to our family. Total burn out. We are as fragile as our patients. Caregivers need rest, relaxation and many prayers and blessings.
Blessings to my fellow nurses. May you take care of yourselves . You are loved !
WELL SAID.I AM A NURSE WHO RETIRED AFTER 54 YEARS IN NURSING AND MOSTLY ICU AND HAVE THOROUGHLY ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.I HAVE MOSTLY WORKED IN THE NAVY,ARMY HOSPITALS AS I AM A MILITARY WIFE AND MY LAST 40 YERS WAS SPENT AT THE VETERANS HOSPITAL.ALL THESE NEWS ABOUT THE POOR CARE IS UNTRUE..I HAVE VESTED INTEREST IN HOW THE VETERANS ARE TREATED AS MY HUSBAND IS A VETERAN HIMSELF.tHE NURSES ARE THE MOST COMPASSIONATE PEOPLE I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BEING ASSOCIATED WITH.THANK YOU FOR THE NICE COMMENTS AS IT EXPRESSES HOW I FEEL.
My best friend died a year ago in ICU. She had the best nurses, even though I wasn’t family they talked with me explained things to me, they even called me when I wasn’t there. I’m sorry you go through so many bad experiences but you seem to be an awesome compassionate person.God bless you.
Amen Sister amen!!!!! I couldn’t have said it better myself! I actually had one of those days today!
Bravo! Nothing like telling it like it is! I have been an RN for 32 years and prior to that a CORT for 8 years for a total of 40 years in healthcare. I have 4 bulging disc in my neck , DJD, have had a foot reconstruction, hearing loss . Before I retired a year ago, I never slept for more than 4 hours at night, I was thinking about my patients, the problems and health issues they had and how to solve them or at least improve their health. No one that is not a nurse can realize the STRESS a nurse has, the decisions she makes, the attempts to not miss something that could be going on with her patients! Not even I realized that stress until a year and a half later when I am finally able to sleep at least 6-7 hours! However, I do still dream about my patients and attempting to be the best nurse I could be!
Omg..love thus..been in nursing since 1977..loveyour recovery mode sstatement
I guess my husband and I have lucky.We have both spent time in hospitals around the country and always had great care.I have seen nurses treated badly or ordered around like paid help . I have always been one to believe that you get back the same treatment that you give out.Nurses are not on the job to move your flowers or fluff your pillows.They all have a very
important job that they do very well if they are left alone to do it.
My Mother was in ICU last summer and was treated amazing!! I also through watching people that I love being treated wrong in the emergency dept. Waiting for hours! I am an RPN and know what is going on but I am just a little bitter that my daughter left emergency five years ago after laying there all day and no one helped her! She went home and passed away! Eight months later I found out she died of severe acute pneumonia! Twenty nine years old and an eight year old boy and an eleven month old girl! They wouldn’t have even checked her lungs? Three months later I received a sympathy card from the CEO! Secretary no doubt! I love nurses but this was wrong, I always thought that not being able to breathe is a priority! Sorry just venting!
You have every right to vent! Your story is heartbreaking and should never have happened! I’m so sorry!
Thank you Elizabeth!
Great blog! I have done it 30 years and I am fed up w today’s mentality of “We know it all” even though they are not in the profession. People who threaten you because you just can’t give out narcs like Halloween candy. 20 people who think they all come first and then complain when you gave your all because they know that goes in their favor. People who threaten you for when you leave work. It is disgusting. This “thug” mentality society is developing. Sad truths…
Awesome. True for floor nurses too….sometimes it’s a lot to take in. But I am so grateful this is what I do!!
This exemplifies what nursing is all about and should be read by everyone!
Great job of describing of what nurses go through!!!!
Wonderfully said and oh so true ! Hang in there, it does get better:) the small victories make up for the arseholes!
I’m a RN also but not in the ICU, I couldn’t deal with it. I give each and everyone of you your respect
One of the finest people I know is a nurse who works long shifts and gives her all to her patients! She wasn’t always a nurse, she was once one of the best office managers I’ve ever known, and even then she was showing signs of her true calling. She left a position where she had been recognized as “employee of the year” to become a nurse because she cared and wanted to do more! She’d be embarrassed by the compliments I’ve said here but she deserves them! She’s a nurse and she deserves to be treated with the same kindness and respect as a doctor, she’s the one that’s there 24/7 making sure her patients needs are taken care of with true compassion and a friendly ear!
I am an RN at a correctional facility and have been for 14 years. I wonder why I am still there …In my 35 years of nursing I have never encountered such abuse from patients.Daily we are sworn at in the most horrible language that i could never post here.Some even have threatned to throw feces at us. Maybe it is the one individual who thanks us, hugs us or shakes our hand that makes this field of nursing worth it….
Heather, I was a nurse at a correctional facility for over 15 yrs…I was always professional, never nice..Nice would get you hurt…I treated the inmates the way they treated me…they cursed at me, I’d curse at them..they threaten me, I’ll threaten them…try and hit or punch me..all bets are off…I was going home that night…I only looked like a sweet old lady…
I have been a nurse for almost 30 years now. I have worked from Med/Surg to CCU to house supervision that afforded me to work on each and every unit from ER to mother/baby to peds and in the OR. I have a masters degree in nursing and the changes over these years have taken even more leaps the last few years. People think that nurses make money hand over fist. They don’t realize that we do not and that we have bought groceries for people going home, reached out to them after they go home to make sure they have what they need. The abuse issues in this blog and response line it very true. I have been kicked square in the chest across the room by a 105 year old man, pulled into a bed over a side rail by a 90 year old less than 90 pound woman, been screamed at because they got bad news that I should have prepared them…. most of the time I have only gotten to know the news a few minutes before entering the room with the physician to tell them bad news, who by the way runs from the room to leave the nurse to handle the aftermath and answer questions, I have been yelled at because I said “oh geez” when a family came to tell me that their mother was in pain not knowing I had spent over an hour with her giving her pain medication and helping her get comfortable and relax and only been out of the room for 15 minutes and had a call into the MD for orders for the next time she had pain…. for being told that I am not sharing my experience with other nurses when they walked out of the room and didn’t want to stick around to hear and learn because their cigarette break (the 4th in the last 4 hours) was more important than to clean up the aftermath and debrief together, when I hadn’t had a break with my one on one patient that I was supposed to share experience with the newer nurses on the unit… hmmm…. hard to do when they aren’t on the unit to learn.
I am in management now… I try to help my staff grow and learn and encourage them to ask questions and to know they are valued. But the sad thing is the newer nurses want what they want… there is no sense of learning the ropes and working with others to learn. I have learned more outside the class room than I ever learned in a class room or in clinical settings for school. The newer nurse want to work what days they want right from the start and don’t seem to want to pay their dues and I think that is where they get burned out so quickly because they don’t get the mentorship relationship that bonds them to this career called nursing.
Do not think that you are safe in your work place ever. Please learn to be aware of your surroundings and watch for danger in the bed, beside the bed and in the hallway. It is a scary world and we have to be ready to react. Use the security and police to walk you to your car. Don’t drive the same way home all the time. I have had people follow me to my car to have further discussions about situations and one that tried to follow me home. I have taken detours to Walmart and to CVS and to the grocery store to not go straight home and get lost in the crowd.
We as nurses have to stand together to continue to promote our profession and remember our roots. we entered nurses to care for other people. We care but we also must take care of each other.
Helen RN, MSN hope to soon be NP
Thank you for embracing your leadership position with grace, gratitude and values. As a “newer” nurse (4.5 years), people like you make our learning environment feel safe and we feel appreciated. For any “new” nurse who doesn’t want to soak up your knowledge and experience like a sponge, shame on them. But find peace in knowing that everything you have tried to teach will “click” some day for those slow learners. So thank you for teaching us. I don’t know if I’ll ever be sure or strong enough to do the same. This career is just too much to handle most days.
I am proud of the nurses and the rest of the crew, they keep coming in to work and staying over and working endless extra shifts, not to mention all the meetings and committees. Is it worth it? Hell ya.. For the one time when life slips away from a patient and the only person there is the nurse, the touch on the shoulder, the hand in theirs, the fervently whispered prayer that all their pain is gone, the split second of thanks and peace, it is the balm for the soul. I support the caring, compassionate people who work so very hard. good on you!
Amen!
It came down to having to make the very sad but real decision of having to put mom into a long term care facility in the year of 2010…Mom suffered a stroke on Aug 29,2009 which left her brain in a state of utter confusion.She was hospitalized that day and stayed at the hospital for almost a year before a room became available for her at the long term care facility. While at the hospital, she was moved from room to room with the torment of having to get used to new nurses and staff every couple of days. This continual moving around made mom very agitated,with her brain in disarray.Some days she would be ok but other days she was in agony , and it was agony for our family to watch this day after day. I finally made the decision to go to the hospital administation with the request to keep mom in one room to prevent her from having those confusing spells so much. The administration understood our predictament and decided that he would put her into a palliative room, ( not because she was dying, but just because those rooms may not be needed as much as a regular room.) athe nurses there were totally awesome and became a very close part of our family. The three that come to mind to this day are Mary, Elizabeth and Alicia……….The most caring and compassionate nurses that you could ever hope to leave your family in the care off. On mom’s bad days, they would go hold her hand and sing …”you are my sunshine” to her to which mom would come out of her spell and sing with them. Then came the day,10 months later, when I got the call that she was going to be moved to the long term care facility and my heart stopped again because all the fear of being moved once again to another strange place with strange faces again, came over me. The nurses at palliative care walked me to the door with mom on the bed being wheeled out.They hugged us both as we left………..They left me with the words that things would be just the same at this new place, but to give it a month or so, for things to settle down,,as the home was just opened that week,and the staff at the home had to get to know the patients as well as the patients had to get used to them. After a month, I noticed that mom had become settled in there and the nurses, pca’s, floor coordinators, activity personel, drs, social workers , room cleaners etc, also came to be part of our extended family. They were always there to greet us with a smile as we walked thru the door…..When they had a moment to spare they would drop by mom’s room just to see how we were all doing. On mom’s first birthday there ( 75th) she decided that she wanted to come home for the day….so as a family we booked the ambulance and had them bring her home for the day and come back to get her that evening. She arrived at 10 am, with one very special angel,Patti, who gave up her day off to come and spend the day with mom as her birthday gift to her and during the birthday party with all of mom’s friends dropping by to an open house, another car pulled into the driveway and out stepped a room cleaner with her husband ( Paula) who said she couldn’t miss spending mom’s birthday with her.After eight hours, I was dreading for the ambulance to arrive to take mom away once again. I was expecting this to be a very sad ending to a 75th birthday party. I waited and waited for mom’s tears to fall , expecting that she wouldn’t want to leave what was once her home.The only tears that fell were mine when she said she wanted to go home with Patti. I asked her if she’d like to go thru the house once more before she left. Her answer was no, that this wasen’t her home anymore.her home was where Patti and the girls were.Although I cried to break my heart at that comment, it also helped me to come to terms that she was being treated very well at the home.That day, I resigned myself to the fact that we didn’t need to feel guilty over abandoning her.We done what was best for her.Every problem that I encountered there was taken care of immediately by the floor coordinator, Chris. Meetings were available for us at any time we felt that we needed to talk.usually those meetings consisted of myself and one of my siblings,,,,,one of mom’s nurses, the floor coordinator and the social worker……..those meeetings kept us up to date of mom’s progress or decline and we, as a family, were always asked how we were holding together. This made our friendship with each and every one of them a blessing. They were all loved and respected by my family. They were the family that our family placed our mother’s care and wellbeing into their hands. There are just too many of them to name individually but suffice it to say they were the most patient and loving angels to have to place the care of your parent into. Sadly, we got the dreaded call on Sept 8th that mom was taking a downward spiral and we should come. On Sept 10 2013 at app 2 am, we were at mom’s side as she was placed into the hands of the angels above and released from the caregiving angels at the Corner Brook home. There were two that attended mom’s funeral, on behalf of the home and themselves.Now, where do you get so much dedication to their job?? My family still pop in every now and then to let them know that there are still people out there that appreciate what they do day in and day out. God bless them, each and every one…you are a great tribute to your profession.Thanks so much for being family and not just workers. None of you will ever be forgotten.Gladys Blundon
Oh my goodnes! This is so exactly how it is! Thank you for being so honest, xx
I don’t know what more could be said. It’s as if you see my heart.
You couldn’t have said it better. I feel like you all see my heart. Thank you for sharing.
43 years of the same pleasures and pain as described by my “sisters and brothers” unfortunately, it is not the same profession I started out in. Perhaps the abuse and disrespect was not as prevalent as now, but I certainly get the power of it now. I have semi retired after a back injury at work. In these last few years I have been called every name under the sun, I was told I was too fat or old (64) to be a nurse. I have gone home and been in tears and had several beers to decompress. I could have dealt with all of it, if there was some kind of support from management. It is always the nurses fault if the customer is unhappy. I was written up by my manager because I didn’t stop in the middle of cleaning one patient to get coffee for the wife of another. I was written up for not answering the light of an up and about patient while being at a rapid response and off the floor. We are rarely recognized for the good work me do so I have learned to expect nothing from these so called nurse managers that have forgotten that they are nurses. I had a patient return a year later, to thank me for saving his life and pushing him to get better. He remembered my last words as the helicopter came to take him away, come back and see me with your clothes on. That’s what has kept me trying over and over again.
This is my life- 35+ years in nursing- started when it was about patients not the bottom line. I need to work to support myself, but fighting FOR the patient and then fighting management leaves me drained beyond belief. Getting the third degree about why I brought in 2 “extra” people early so the day shift charge didn’t have to take patients while the night shift had no breaks due to short staffing on a holiday weekend. Unfortunately under-educated (diploma grad) I am finding few choices. Reading through this blog and the many of us who proudly call ourselves NURSES is re inspiring my dreams of making a difference for someone….
I can only add my agreement to what has been said. I came to nursing later in life, after my 3 boys were older and have been a nurse for over 10 years now. I have left every hospital due to management abuse, which I find to be unacceptable. While I dislike the abuse from patients/family members, I can understand (sometimes) their levels of fear, despair and anger that cause them to act out. What I cannot understand, condone, or tolerate, is the abuse from management which has been accurately described in other posts. Add this to the view many hospitals, IMO, have – as seeing patients as “cash cows” to run thru the chutes to pay the bills and it is no wonder that we are all, nurses and patients/families alike, are left crying at the end of it all. I have stayed longer than intended in hospitals because of awesome nurses and other hospital department coworkers and my determination to be there for my patients with my skills, my honesty and my love for them as God’s children. I have left when the abuse became too much to bear and it felt like my soul was being sucked out of my body by hospital management. I am working as a travel nurse, as I can use my skills where they are needed, but by not “belonging” to any hospital, it is possible to ignore a lot of the nonsense of management. I suggest that as a possible outlet for those of you struggling with this increasing problem of nurse abuse. Living in a large city, I am able to “travel” in place, but doing a 13 week assignment in an area that I’ve always wanted to visit anyway is sometimes fun.
If I were a writer, I already have a title for a book “Who Stole Nursing”. Somehow it has been taken away from us and we are being told to take care of patients “by the book” instead of using the skills and intuition essential to every nurse. Many fear for jobs, with good reason, as management always keep that hanging over one’s head, and so don’t “rock the boat”. I’m afraid, however, if we don’t stand together and stand against the black shadow of profit over people, nursing will truly cease to exist. Already this whole silly notion of nurses having to have all these higher degrees to take care of people (hospitals and universities in bed with each other??) is robbing patients of people dedicated to bedside skills. I am not saying a higher education is bad, per se, but it is caring and experience that makes a good nurse, not a bunch of letters behind ones’ name. I have personally known nurses from all types of educational backgrounds and if I had to pick, I’d take a lesser degree and a longer amount of experience any day. Degree nurses always come to me for things like starting IVs and reasoning with unruly patients, as they are not allowed to develop these skills early on.
In closing, all I can say is, fight the good fight and keeping caring for God’s children. Love to all my brothers and sisters in the medical field.
I got your back Candi, the customer is always RITE, mgmt, and directors do not stand in your corner, I always pray and I have cut back working sooo many hours, spent my days off taking care of ME.
Nursing is a vital and necessary part of the medical world
Nurses know their patients and their needs and help to keep their families informed when the world gets going in circles
You helped me during the last two years when my husband was seriously sick and I can’t thank you enough
You are angels
Bravo, very well said. This holds true for all nurses in all departments, not just ICU. I have been a proud & passionate ER RN for 21 years & have faced all of the same triumphs & losses, have dealt with the same types of families & patients & i still love my job, It’s management 9 times out if 10 that make my job harder than it has to be. The respect we as nurses’ deserve has to come from the top (management), & then the patients & families may follow suit. No matter the abuse, nurses continue to do their jobs proudly & passionately, this is our life’s work, otherwise we would have become plumbers, they make more money.
My final note: licorce not gummy bears please. Yours in Nursing,
Lee Ann ER RN
This month marks 20 years since I graduated from nursing school and I can say that in the last few years nursing has basically destroyed me. In the last year I have had to take two leaves of absence for severe depression and anxiety that were job related. The second time it turned out I didn’t qualify for FMLA so my position wasn’t protected (which meant when I was released by my doctor I had two weeks to apply for and be hired for any other position in the company or be terminated – this only increased my anxiety). I have completed four weeks of intensive outpatient psychiatric therapy (3 1/2 hours/day for 20 days) twice. Four days ago I reached 14 weeks of leave and was terminated because I had reached the maximum amount of leave allowed. My short term disability pays my mortgage – every other cent of my bills/expenses is coming out of my savings which is quickly disappearing. I am trying to find a job working using my nursing knowledge that is low stress (chart review for insurance company, medical research for lawyers, etc but I have no experience in case management and that seems to be a prerequisite (sp?) for all jobs like that). I am afraid I am going to end up on permanent disability (which will not pay my bills and I will lose my home, etc). When a profession treats its professionals (well for the most part it doesn’t even treat us as true professionals but that is another story) so poorly that nurses are getting burned out one to two years after graduation, something must be done! I think of all the time and money I have wasted (I have a masters degree from a very expensive school that took me a decade to pay off) for a job that has become so stressful and abusive that I cannot mentally handle it and I am not qualify to do anything else. Makes me feel very hopeless about finding a way to support myself for the next 20-25 years. Sorry for long post – just needed to vent – the rest of the world doesn’t understand.
Alison. I know exactly what you are going through. I have been a nurse for 30 years. The last three have been horrific! Management lies right to your face. Working with more tasks and less people. I started having anxiety attacks and was freaking out thinking about doing certain jobs, ie taking central lines out, accessing ports, things I have done for 30 years! I am a Christian. I kept applying for other jobs like medical transcription, chart review, Case Management, anything to get out of direct patient care. I kept praying but no doors were opened. I couldn’t afford to not work! I was stuck. It was all I could do to go in every day. Thankfully my coworkers were wonderful, they knew I was having issues with certain tasks and they stepped up and helped me! Finally, my best friend offered me a job as a human resources manager for a small physician practice. I had to move 400 Miles from my home. Left my grown children – something I never thought I would do! Now that I have been gone for 4 months, I am finally starting to relax. I look back at the situation and see how abusive it really was. It was truly a horrible work environment that nobody should have to endure! Since I have left, it has gotten even worse, I just can’t imagine! I don’t have a solution for you, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone! Have you looked into medical coding? I am testing for the CPC exam next week. I think it will be good to get certified and have that to fall back on for when I need it. I will NEVER do patient care again. Nursing is a calling but you have to know when it’s time to stop! Best wishes! Ginny
It is sad that your experiences are becoming more common. Maybe you could teach . Our local tech school has a great nursing program, but is short on instructors. Also, we have some wonderful RNs working as discharge planners. They are such a needed support to our patients. The physical stress would be less, and you would be able to contribute so much to your community. I hope all this gets better for you soon.
Exactly:) truth will set u free
Frightening article as my daughter just graduated with her BSN and has accepted a job in a NICU. She did her capstone at the same place and worked nights. She said there weren’t a lot of family members around at night. I worry because when my father was in hospital he was the patient from hell and his wife was very demanding. I worry as a mother and pray for nurses. Thank you for what you do.
The treatment of Hospital staff in this way is unacceptable. Time to stop the madness and take back the professional treatment of our patients. This disrupts patient care and is a hazard in the work place. The times have changed. Please take a stand on workplace violence.
30 years as a ICU RN now all the administration cares about now are the surveys. Be damn about anything else!
Well written. And *bawl
I am a veteran nurse of 30 yrs at the age of 50. Its been my life. Its all I know. I’ve grown to love psychiatric. As for punishment, I’ve also been kicked, thrown accross rooms, reported to the boards harrassed at my home, told I’ve done ” this” and “that”. Been hired, fired and even taken care of murderers. I suffer frum fibromyalgia, deg. Disc disease, osteoporosis, multiple rib fx. Due to just moving wrong, carpel tunnel from yrs opening pill pkgs. For hours at a time. But yet I continue, for those few occurances where a family tells me “thank you” for helping them. Thank u for taking care of my mom or dad, or the smiles I receive just helping them to eat, or move or gve them some waterwhen they are too feeble to even hold a cup. That’s why I go on thru my own trenchs of home traegedies like evryone else. But that’s also why they call me “nurse” its my life I chose man yrs. ago back when nursing was just taking care of people. Not doing paperworkfirst and patients last. Now its all computerized. But a computer can’t hug or feel the warmth of a hand. Human touch knows no boudries and it never will. Keep ur head up and help ur patients and don’t loose ur soul in it all.
Maybe if more people shared this it would help!! Nursing is one of a very few jobs that it seems to be ok to be verbally and physical abused on a daily basis and then get blamed or reprimanded by management because the patent complains (as we know their always right). Which tells us we also need better management and better support for nurses. The last time I was hit by a patent it took 5 week for the bruise it left on my face to go away. It’s very sad really that doing something you love can turn in to something that makes you cry!! Keep the faith my fellow nurses!!
Peter Pronovost of Johns Hopkins wrote a book on “checklists” a few years ago which show importance of routines. Before that he worked with the family of a young child who died during a scenario where few paid attention to the mom. The video is remarkable. We showed it to all students when it came out attention to moms can often direct exam to find why child not thriving. It can be a fine line separating the neurotic frequent flyer and one with real problems
I suggest googling Pronovost and Hopkins and ask the ER to watch it or ICU’s. All need to try to tune their ear to
Parental concerns. It is hard when nurses are so short staffed
It is Atul Gawande who wrote The Checklist
Although I am not in the Medical field, many of my family are or were. My Great Uncles were MD’s, my Mother and three Aunts were RN’s. My Brother is a Radiologist,and five of my Nieces are RN’s ! Last year I spent a few days in the CCU with Heart issues. My Nurses were terrific, especially one in particular. After I was discharged it occurred to me that I should give some form of appreciation. Some days later I returned to the CCU with a very large basket of individually wrapped Goodies ! Pastry,Cookies,little Cakes,Candies,etc. all individually wrapped for obvious reasons ! ( Much more appreciated than Flowers ). Soon, much of the Nursing staff were gathering to see and enjoy ! The lesson of my story is to give back to the Nurses something they can enjoy. I was told, and observed that it was really appreciated !
I started school to become a nurse and could not imagine being anything else in life. I was not able to finish due to a life crisis. Then my daughter became ill and for a year i begged the doctors in emerge to listen to me that our newborn daughter was very sick. He told me I was like his over paranoid wife. So many times after (often the same doctor) would send us home it was a nurse who rubbed my back and told me to come back if things didn’t change so I did 18 times. the ER nurses were great, I wish that they could have had the power to help more since many came to me later to say how much they wished they could have stepped in. Then she was admitted and at first the nurses were great (the odd one desperately needed to retire) after each test came back normal the support and compassion dwindled. I begged for an MRI but none wanted to listen. She stopped using her arm apparently a side effect of an IV. I went to the head nurse who when I asked her to help me make the doctors see that something was wrong closed her office door went to her computer turned the screen to me to show how many times that I have taken her to emergency 18 times and that with all the tests run in er (there were no tests aside from the one urine test done the day after I had brought her in and been told I was just like the doctors wife. She had such a terrible infection that she needed tests to see if her kidneys had suffered). the head nurse put her hand on my knee and asked if I knew what they called my 16 month old baby behind our back? “the million dollar baby because she had a million dollars in tests and nothing was wrong. I should get help, she said. I said she should start calling her the million point 5 dollar baby. I asked another nurse the night before for help but she cut me off and said she was to busy. I had sat with these nurses and truly believed that they thought of me as a good mom etc. when in actuality we were the source of many of their jokes. then we are told that our daughter not only has a brain tumor but that if only something had of been done earlier she would have had a better chance at a life and not need the chemo therapy that stole her chances to have babies of her own. That today she would not be disabled. As much as I love nurses and my friends that are nurses are awesome and I while being in hospital have seen the way they are treated sometimes and it is disgusting. I just can’t help but wonder what our life and hers would be like today if maybe even one of those nurses making fun of us behind our back or one of the nurses hearing the opinions of other nurses had of left her mind open to making her own conclusions and perhaps worked with us instead of against. One resident spoke up after to say that she disagreed with our treatment and was reprimanded. So be proud of what you do as you should be. Perhaps keep in mind that families sometimes need that one nurse that like you said are a tight bunch to have the individuality to think outside of the group to give a true evaluation. I have had so many nurses come to us and apologize for the way we were treated, the sad thing is that 9 times out of 10 the nurse had no reason to even apologize. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way as I doubt our paths have ever crossed. I know that the majority of nurses are compassionate and have a great deal of empathy. All the best.
You said it well and reading it made me feel like I wasn’t the only nurse who has been there . I have worked in hospice and ICU and all of what u said is true and I can relate.
As a mother who experienced similar treatment while my son was very ill my heart goes out to you.
I will ad to this: often it is not just the nurses, but all hospital workers that care about the patients and their families. As a 4 Year Degreed Medical Laboratory Technologist I visit patients constantly throughout the day and feel exactly the same as this Nurse describes. I see the Therapists, Radiology personnel, and Nursing Assistants doing the same and similar brave caring work around the clock. I’ve had the workers on the floors save me from being beaten up by crazy patients. We are a true team, all hospital workers, and I thank each and every one of you for a job well done!
Opps I should have said I’m surprised the author didn’t write about the verbal abuse ALL MEDICAL WORKERS endure from doctors and nurse practitioners. I guess that would be another story unfortunately…
I have been a nurse for 15 years. Not only do we take abuse from patients and their families, doctors are abusive at times as well. We (nurses) are human and deserve respect. I feel nursing is the most underappreciated job in the world. Not to mention underpaid.
So true Julia, I had a patient call patient advocate because I left her on the bedpan for 10mins, told her family, not to say we were short staff that day, all I did was answer 2 call bells but I was a no good RN.
Well said,Julia.
It’s hard to believe how incredibly selfish and juvenile people can be. There is no excuse for how they act.
This has been very well written and very much describes our lives as nurses in ICU and all other areas! I agree Please Please don’t abuse us we are only wanting the best for everyone involved
Because nobody should die alone! That’s why I stay…………a respiratory therapist,I am. Xoxo to all the RN’s
My son was just discharged today after having an ileostomy. It didn’t take long to realize that the nursing staff was “spread thin.” You would never know it though, they were wonderful, compassionate and took time to answer a lot of questions, etc. My son received excellent care. I am truly thankful.
And if may add….we do ALL of this that you speak of as we also deal with administration trying to dictate our nurse/patient ratios along with the required charting for all of the different departments of the hospital as each one has to have “their” form filled out by us during our shift. I have been a nurse for 15 years and had so many days and shifts from hell. Why do we keep doing it? Because it is that ONE little old lady that is depending on us for so much care at the end of her life who is thankful that we are there, and as we are rushing out of the room for a quick second to take care of a much smaller need we hear that sweet, shaky, frail voice say “thank you so much honey you are truly an angel”.
Vickie that is truly the only reason I am still nursing after 38 years. Well said!
Right on Vickie Frey! That is why we keep doing it! <3
Very touching. I have always believed in nurses being the strong yet compassionate leaders in the medical community. Unfortunately, there will always be patients and families who you cannot do enough for or don’t do it well enough. I applaud all of our nurses but have only one complaint. Stop serving coffee to these families. You are nurses, not waitresses.
Linn we are care givers in any form that takes. Whether it be adjusting Iv meds to maintain a stable blood pressure, pouring blood into a gun shot or stabbing victim or giving comfort to that victims family. Maybe by wrapping your arms around them when they can not hold themselves up or serving that 2am cup of coffe to help a wife or son stay awake to say their last goodbyes. It’s what we do we take care in any form needed. We are nurses.
I know nurses do God’s work, and this prompted me to say a prayer for ALL of them.
Thank you, we all need prayers,,, the patients, the families, the doctors, the nurses and respiratory therapists, the xray and lab personnel, the therapists, the pharmacists, the dietary staff, the secretaries, the assistants and all the ancillary staff including our most valuable volunteers. Let’s not forget the guys in the many offices of each department of the hospital as well who help keep the hospital running like a well oiled machine! We are a working team of patient advocates whose main goal is to restore health to those who are in need in a dignified, caring and compassionate manner.
Rita, I retired in Aug of 2013, having worked since 1972, in every area except little peds. I have also endured the abuses you mentioned and even an abuse from a fellow co-worker. I had to contact The Head of Hr at University of Michigan, before this particular person was delt with and moved out of the department! I know women become nurses as we love to care, to nurture and provide comfort to those in need! Yet, even when we are doing what we enjoy , or think we enjoy doing, when the pain is so bad as I hear from your journal, it be be time to look into other avenues of nursing, where you are not as vulnerable to being attacked or abused. Its just a thought, I Care, I truly understand. God Bless you! Christine Kandah
Eric, nurses don’t run away from trouble. It is not in our make-up. If we all did, then there would be no one to take care of these patients that need our help and compassion.
Touche! I applaud all the wonderful Nursing staff at Mc Laren Regional Medical Center in Flint, MI. I have first hand knowledge of over 30 years just how dedicated Nurses are. This article is right on! I applaud all Nurses everywhere as well. Thank you from the top and bottom of my heart.
So well said!! As a semi retired nurse and one who is going through my own medical challenges, I thank you and all nurses for your dedicated service!! <3 <3
A surgeon, retired, who spent many hours in icu from internship on I learned early how tough it is for nurses and how tough they are. My wife, a retired trauma ER nurse, and I applaud you.
Thank you
Beautifully, yet sadly said. While I am not a nurse – I offer my deepest respect to those who are. I’ve dealt with many a nurse over the years – in 2007, my dad died, in 2009 my brother died and in 2011, my mother died. Sorry nurses – but during those years, I dealt with nurses and other medical staff when I wish I didn’t have to – HOWEVER – thank you for being there for not only my family but for me. I spent three months in the hospital in 2007 (during the time my dad died), and you have no idea what it meant to me to get to know each of you . . . to know that you are so very busy being called by certain patients that really didn’t need you – they just wanted attention . . . but for taking a moment to spend with me, sharing stories, understanding my sadness, and, yes, even crying with me when I needed someone to cry with. Indeed – thank you all!
Nursing has always been a noble profession and still is. It’s like combat sometimes, just on a different field. Things thrown at you like bombs (bed pans, hair brushes) terrible insults. Untrue accusations hurled at you behind your back that are false.
But, the most rewarding profession, nursing is also a calling from Most High. Open, warm, caring hands and words have come from nurses that lead the way for a clearer understanding of circumstances, and comfort us, like a mother.
The words written above come from a dedicated loving mother, friend and nurse, Rita.
Thanks for all you do, good, honorable, noble nurses! You and your profession deserve respect and a raise.
Claudette Ciegotura
Rita, this is so well written and all so true. Great job!
wonderfully put. I have experienced many of the things you refer to. Loving nurses who go the extra mile to make sure our loved ones are not in pain and are comfortable their last few days or hours. I’ve also experienced watching a precious granddaughter of 3 go through terrible debilitating pain, multiple surgeries, morphine round the clock to stay the pain of a cancer that was totally estroying her little body. All the while seeing a nurse share her lunch with little Sophia or show unconditional love to a little sweet head that use to wear a “princess crown” but because of the sores it caused no longer wanted to wear it because she no longer felt like a princess. These are the memories I carry with me and thank God for the unconditional love of a compassionate nurse. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
WELL Written U covered all the bases U did not miss a thing Great Job!!!!!!
This is across every field of nursing. I was a patient care tech in the ER for 7 yrs before graduating nursing school-aged I’ve been in long term geriatric care since. I’ve done rehabilitation, psych, hospice, etc… I’ve have been abused by patients, family, doctors management and coworkers. The most irritating part for me and the part I don’t see in her is the nurse in nurse bullying that is sadly becoming more prevalent in our profession. Over the last few years I’ve have noticed a very disturbing trend, especially in nursing management. I’m hearing from other nurses in hospitals, long term care facilities, etc. the bullying is getting out of control. We should be supporting each other, not stabbing our coworkers in the back. Most of the time we are the only ones who can understand what another nurse is going through, and how stressful our shift has been. Instead of lending a hand and helping or a shoulder to cry on, coworkers are running to management and tattling like children, even going as far as lying and making up stories to get another nurse in trouble!! This is appalling to say the least. We need to support each other and quit trying to find fault in each other. Afterall, the bridges you burn might be one you need in the future. Some of the younger nurses coming out of school are coming out with this attitude that they know everything and yeah they might be book smart but you cannot find commonsense in a book!! I treasure all of the experience a seasoned nurse passes on to me, sometimes you have to go with your instincts.
Wow, did I write this comment? Well written comment A. Kenney!
Amen! This is soooo true!
Well said and written. Even as an experienced nurse I am seeing an increase in nurse bullying from management and disrespect from the newer nurses. However, I do see improvement in the physician attitudes for the most part.
Spot on Kennedy, nurses especially administration are the worst support for each other and the strongest bully’s against ! Now more than ever is when we need to be each other’s advocate! Especially as a profession.
Sad but true. We should be a sisterhood that stands united and have each other’s backs- not our claws in each other’s faces!
I love my job as an ICU nurse.
I am fortunate enough to work in my hometown hospital and think of it as my second home. My co-workers are my closest friends, colleagues and family. They have looked after my family members when they have been ill and helped my grandmother pass into eternity with grace and comfort. There are no finer professionals that I would trust my life with.
Unfortunately they don’t hear those things enough. They don’t know what a difference they make every single day in someone’s life. Management doesn’t fully understand the calibre of professionals they have and what a loss it would be without these individuals.
I am blessed to work side by side these nurses every day and I learn something new every shift. I hope I live up to the standard they meet.
“We should be a sisterhood that stands united…”. Calling for unity while being sexist in the same sentence. Quality post. *face palm*.
You have wrote my career of late in long term care unbelievable I thought it was just me
You read my mind. My career has been devastated by this behavior. I’ve spent my life giving every thing I have to my patients, and now all I have to show for it is a bad back. I am surprised not to see it acknowledged in this article. Perhaps the writer has been luckier than me.
Hey Kelly,I’ve been nursing 32 year.7 back surgeries,still nursing,thought I was the only one
Kelly……WONDERFUL article and you did hit all the bases. I too am an ICU nurse and work with an amazing group of nurses, physicians and aides. I LOVE what I do, but have certainly noticed a sense of “entitlement” from family members and some patients. I RECENTLY, while caring for my patient, had a family member ask how long I was going to be, because she’d like A CUP OF COFFEE ! ! You can’t make this stuff up, lol
Yes, nurse to nurse bullying is one of the biggest stressor in being an ICU for 7 yrs and it didn’t start til 3 years ago. All of the abuse is terrible and I’ve drove home crying so many days but nurse to nurse seems to hurt the worst.