In 2005, at the age of 43, I began nursing school. Over the next two years, I would learn how to properly fold a washcloth (as if after raising two sons, I needed a lesson), how to don sterile gloves, (after throwing out 25 pairs), write care plans (that all sound alike), hold my bladder for 8 to 10 hours (praying that I wouldn’t need to laugh, sneeze, or cough), and many other useful “skills.”
But I was ill-prepared for the real world of nursing. The skills were necessary, of course, but let me explain a little bit about what I’ve learned since then, and share with you a quick glimpse of a day in the life of an ICU nurse.
The alarm goes off at 5 a.m., I shower, do my hair and make-up. Start the car (because it’s winter, 15 degrees, I don’t have a garage, and I’ll probably have to shovel my way out after cleaning the car off). I’m on the road by 6:15 a.m. I find my usual parking spot (yes, the same spot every time), and walk the long walk into the hospital, punch in, and head to the kitchen. The night shift nurses (and friends) have been kind. They made an extra-strong pot of coffee for the day shift.
“Did you sleep well?” “How are the roads?” That’s what we hear from the outgoing shift.
And from the oncoming shift: “Get some sleep!” “Be careful driving!” “See you tonight!” No one could listen to our interactions and doubt that we care about the other shift. We do. We are a team. Well… more like a family.
And I need also to mention – It’s not unusual for nurses to massage each other’s shoulders while giving report, or french braid each other’s hair when they finally get a chance to sit.
On New Year’s Day, our night manager has glasses of non-alcoholic champaign to welcome the day nurses as we enter the unit. (And the extra-strong coffee is also brewing in the kitchen).
We work 12-hour shifts, and OFTEN go without breaks. We know the names of each others’ children, often the names of each others’ ex-husbands, and the struggles of those going without sleep to finish their advanced degrees. We get excited waiting to see if our friends who applied to CRNA school were accepted (even though we would prefer to keep them on our floor with us forever). We share Sunday morning coupons, and some even run marathons and take their families camping together. When someone gets ill, we cash in vacation time, collect money, and sell candy bars, and whatever else we can do to get them through financially. We hug each other, tease each other, get angry with each other, cry together, reconcile, hug, and then head to the Red Coat Tavern for a burger after work.
When it comes to our patients, we not only care for them, we also care for their families. We know our patients and their families for long, long periods of times – And I’m not talking about days. I’m talking about months, and sometimes years. And we get attached to many of them! We cut snowflakes out of coffee filters for cancer patients and tape them up all over the room in an attempt to get them to smile just once more. We paint pink fingernails on Down Syndrome patients who want, need, and deserve to feel like princesses. We have thumb wars and arm wrestles with intubated patients to trick them into exercising their limbs. We listen to them share their heartaches and fears at the most vulnerable time in their lives, and call their children for them so that they can say “I love you” one more time. We scrub feet, shave beards, and de-tangle hair. We take last requests, and spend our breaks going to the grocery store so we can get Vernors and vanilla ice cream to make one more “Boston Cooler” for someone who will die in a few hours. We listen to families vent about their family dysfunctions, and try to diffuse situations. We fall in love with our patients and their families, and we cry with their loved ones when they pass. We call priests, chaplains, rabbi’s, and imams. We sometimes pray with a frightened patient, or to comfort a family member. We sing silly songs while we bathe our patients who are awake – anything to make them laugh. I’ll forever cherish the memory of one gal who signed every fitted sheet with her autograph in baby powder. (She made a lot of people laugh). We share our faiths, and some of our most intimate thoughts and beliefs with each other – It’s difficult NOT to when death is such a reality during your every shift. We don’t always agree, but we respect each other, let each other talk it out, and we listen, and hug. We hug often.
After our patients pass, we call our bereavement representative who comes quickly with coffee and bagels for the grieving family in the conference room. Us? We prepare the patient’s body for delivery to the morgue, wait for the room to get cleaned, and get our next patient – the next patient and family who will be really special, and we’ll undoubtedly get attached to just as quickly as the last. No coffee and bagels for us. No bereavement time for us. Nope – Just on to the next patient.
By now, it’s not all that uncommon for that cute early morning hair-do to be flat from being crushed by hats, or the make-up to have been taken off by the mask. It’s early afternoon, and nurses are wondering why they bother to do their hair and put on make-up. We are also thankful to have remembered the extra swipes of deodorant this morning. A hot shower is starting to sound really, really good. It’s almost report time, so it’s time to put that extra-strong pot of coffee on for the night shift. We hope they slept well. We hope the roads aren’t bad for their drive in.
I’ve had many different jobs during my 56 years, nursing being the most recent. But aside from being a soldier in the Army, at no other job have I had the privilege of saying I cherish my co-workers, and love them like family, like that of my nursing job. Nowhere else do my co-workers know I don’t eat fish, Thai, or Chinese food. At no other job, do sugar-coated gummy bears, “kettle crack,” or cocoa-dusted almonds make everything okay.
Inevitably, someone will call on the drive home. They want you to stop by, just for a little while. They don’t understand the things you have had splashed on you today. They don’t understand you left the house at 6 a.m., and don’t get home until 8:30 p.m., and have only a few hours to sleep before returning. They don’t understand you may have held someone’s hand while they passed today, and that just for tonight, you need to go to Red Coat with someone who understands. Give them that space. Don’t be offended.
Tonight, if you know a nurse – Don’t say a word. Just give them a hug. If you’re a family member in the hospital and you wish to do something nice for the nurses – please know, sugar-coated gummy bears can fix almost anything.
As a gesture of appreciation for nurses, offering sugar-coated gummy bears can indeed provide a small moment of comfort and respite amidst the demanding nature of their work. However, in addition to traditional treats, some nurses may find relief in alternative forms, such as CBD-infused gummy bears. With their potential to promote relaxation and alleviate stress, CBD gummy bears can be an effective addition to a nurse’s self-care routine. CBD-infused gummy bears offer a natural and discreet way to incorporate the benefits of cannabidiol into daily life.
This is so true I am very passionate about my residents they can make you laugh when you need a pickup and you can cry when that time comes. They are our extended family and we call them granddaddy, grandma , mom and pop love them all
Love the article! I worked in the CCU @ Sparrow Hospital many years ago. I returned to Nursing 7 years ago; I now float between Outpt. Surgery, PACU & ED in a small rural hospital in southern IL. We are like family here. I would add chocolate goes a long way as well!
hard work,,,but rewarding I am sure, else people wouldn’t choose it as a career. I admire nurses so much, and others in a field where they GIVE ALL THE TIME,,,,NON STOP,,,,,special people are nurses,,,strong, people,,,,those who don’t flinch at driving a needle into a body,,,,seeing blood,,,,,,mangled bones,,,,,,,and death…special people indeed. It must in the end make you a really strong person. bless all the nurses today…..
Two years ago our nursing school class celebrated our 50th anniversary. Many of us had not seen each other for about as long, but it was like having a family reunion instead. There was plenty of laughter, and plenty of caring. Several of us are now widows, and the kindness of others was wonderful. Many among us obtained advanced degrees, responsible positions, and achieved admirable volunteer service. Although many years had passed, we cared for each other and were genuinely happy to spend time together. Nursing was the bond that held us together those 52 years ago, and nursing was the stimulus to learn the compassion and kindness found in each of my classmates today.
I have been a nurse for over 35 years and this is as true today as it was when I started. Nursing is not a job it is a calling and if anyone thinks different they are in the wrong profession. Staff nurses are the lowest paid but the most compassionate, loving ,dedicated people you will ever meet. Yes, we can get crabby at times we are human but we are always trying to make our patients happy. We care when everything is falling apart or going right. We care not just for a patient but for our families, friends, co-workers, and even total strangers when we here they are having troubles. Nurses are a rare breed of individuals and to most of us our career is more than a paycheck. It is our life in and out of the work place.
That is so true. I’m retired now but the last five years I did home health. Saw 35 to 40 patients a week and drove 700 miles. I loved it and I still isit some of my patiens/family. God bless all nursed.
So very well said and so very true! I too started nursing school at age 43 and have not regretted it ever.
I have been a nurse for almost thirty years, in Africa, U.S.A and Canada, this article is universal and could have been written by a nurse in any of those countries. Yes I agree, gummy bears make things better, even today, I find comfort there.
if it wasnt for my angels the doctors would kill us,we would wait 10 times as long as we do now,and the whole system would crash,thanks to you all,others thank you to even though youve saved me more than once.
I have read this story twice and it fits into everything I had did in my 44 years of nursing. I come from a long line of the Medical field. I myself worked as a Med.Surg,, Phys.Nurse, Hospice, Home Health Care, Travel Nurse on the Eastern Sea Board from Fla to Delaware, and CNA., GNA Instructor. There is nothing in Nursing that I did not love. I have cried with my Patients and laughed with them. I have listen to stories of abuse of both men and women and to the family whose love one had two months to live. I supported the young adults who wanted to get into the medical field by becoming a CNA or GNA with a million and one questions. Made sure I got to work on time and did not call off. I myself come from a long line of Medical people & Nurses in my life. My mother worked OBGYN for 30 years, My sister worked for 26 years on the Orthro Floor, My Oldest daughter Out Patient Chemo Therapy IV Infusion 29 years, Her son, my grandson, BSN 2 years on a Burn Unit, My youngest daughter works for Blue Cross, Blue Shield Care First, head coder. My Nice and her daughter both have Masters in Social Work with her husband being a Dr. But I know we all love helping people and love the job we do. Good wishes and prayers to all the Medical people of the world.
WOw great words.
Sister to a semi-retired nurse, who would like to be fully retired. I think!!
May God bless all of the nurses out there. I just spent a week in hospital.
Sherri – you were meant to be a nurse and a good one. ICU is one of the hardest place to work in. They come and they go. I couldn’t do the job because I would be crying all the time. It takes special people to become nurses and I appreciate you and your co-workers with all my heart. I appreciate how you feel and real proud of you and other nurses. We are blessed to have you around. You are angels.
Christina, Thank you for sharing this with me. It is a very special, sacred and touching relationship you have with your RN coworkers. It reminded me of the relationship I had with my fellow squadron forward air controller pilots in Vietnam. There is absolutely nothing that can compare with it nor replace it. The bonds you make with these coworkers is a forever one. God bless all you nurses. You all are very special and critically needed people and profession. You all have my utmost respect and love. I am hugging you now. Dad
I belong to a group of nurses who worked in a very busy ER in the 1970’s. Some of us have gone on to other areas and some are still in the ER. We have met for dinner on the third Thursday of the month for 26 years. All of the story here was true when we all worked in that ER. We had our favorites and the not so favorites and even in the ER you have those who come in often that feel like family. The patients always came first but that experience has joined us together and has lasted all of these years. It is not a bond that is easily explained. Once you are an ER nurse you are always an ER nurse. It is part of who you are and how you think even if you now work as a case manager, in the GI Lab, have moved on to a medical products company as a consultant or are retired. The bonding of nurses to get through the day is one that never goes away. I ended up as a nurse because I liked science and didn’t want to be a teacher. It made me the person that I am today and gave me a support group that has known me since I was a size 6 and wore a nursing cap. I have heard that some of this is not true for the younger generation of nurses ( I don’t know why) and if that is true I pray that they find this bond that can get you through your first SIDS, 98% full thickness burn, or any other difficult patient to which they give care. It helped us all survive the sadness and lack of fairness in world but gave us something that we would never have if we weren’t nurses in that ER.
Brings back some lovely memories of why I loved writhing in Neuro ICU. Thanks for sparking them. The campint trips were actually whit water rafting trips with concerns of other staff we would all come back with head injuries.
Only another nurse will truly understand the joys and frustrations of nursing. I started my nursing career at eighteen and retired at 62. I truly loved it. My most favorite ‘ patients’ were the developmentally disabled population living in the community, where I worked for over 20 years before retirement.
So many non nurse friends said to me” I could never do what you do” or ” you are a saint!”
They didn’t realize how much pleasure and satisfaction my daily work gave me. And I was getting paid to do something I loved! I enjoyed reading your piece very much.
We are never to old to learn what the day of a nurse go’s through, my husband and I are so Thankful for anybody in that profession, nurses Doctors it is not easy
He said this so perfectly!!!! ❤️this!
..SHE
You always have awesome posts!
This could have been me writing this! Called to go back to school and obtain my RN degree in my 40’s, up at 5, in a car with no garage. Couldn’t have written this better. It is as if you followed me, looked into my heart and wrote down what what you saw. Being a nurse is not a job, it is a ministry and I am so thankful God allowed me to be a part of such a great calling! To all my fellow nurses, thank you! Thank you for all you do, going on when you have nothing left to give because that is who were are! God bless!
Have been a nurse since 1972, worked mostly night turn. You described our family of nurses perfectly. What we saw, experienced cannot be put into words. I love being a nurse. I have retired from hospital nursing but now work casual at a school and love it. Thank you for the beautiful article. Paula..still a night owl.
Every word is true I know I called the staff my second family because we spent so much time together we also spent time together away from work thats the real life of most health care workers
Couldn’t have said it any better! I love my coworkers and patients!!!
I have been a nurse for 10 years and….truer words were never spoken!
So very true. Thank you for sharing!
Just read this for the first time and would swear that someone on the L&D unit I worked for 15 years on or someone from the NICU that I work in now had wrote it. It describes us perfectly from the massages and braids, the meeting after work at a local bar/restaurant, the care of the families not only the patients, and the concern for each others well-being and coffee intake. I know whose kid just got accepted to the college of their choice, whose kid is in trouble, whose mother-n-law is sick, whose husband is a jerk and who is seriously reconsidering her choice of jobs…and don’t we all from time to time? We can work quickly and efficiently through many a staffing crisis as we know each others strengths and can make a total disaster into an upcoming late night story for years to come on how we got through it all as a team. Thank you for putting into words how I feel about my job and especially my co-workers/family.
Are you from Michigan? Vernors is a Michigan product. Love my Boston coolers! I too am a nurse. Forced to retire due to disability. I loved reading your post. Thank you.
Michigander! Born and raised!
Having to leave our MICU due to back injury still seems unreal. Sure wish I could’ve stayed with the best cree ever.
… and after lack of sleep I use run-on sentences. Lol
Firefighters and Police officers have a brotherhood that I understand and appreciate. My nurse family is no different. Yep, I know who has a shellfish allergy, whose kid just got over a bad breakup or the flu and they know that take hazel nut creamer in my coffee and I’m a sucker for red vines. Night nurse- out!
So well said, after 40 years of nursing I am so grateful for all this.
I can say pretty much the same thing for me and most of my co workers in the O R. We too are a family. A family of nurses, surgeons, anesthesiologists, CRNAs, scrub techs, secretaries, and PSAs. We miss breaks/meals,& hold our bladders for hours while cases are on going. We have eat ins fairly regularly to celebrate birthdays, holidays and occasions. Some of this group are really terrific chefs and bakers!! We do occasionally schedule and sometimes it’s an impromptu go out for beverages after work after a particularly hectic and harried week. We know and care for each other’s children, spouses, siblings, parents, and yes even our fur children! We share in the happiest of celebrations like weddings, baby showers, graduations, and occasionally the pick up of someone going thru a painful unwanted divorce…. We argue and fight, talk it out and come back the next scheduled day to take care of our patients, ones in their most vulnerable state, when they surrender control and allow us to care for them.
Yes, coffee, gummy bears, animal crackers, fruit, or baked goods sometimes fix almost anything!
Very well written and so True! I’m a Huron Valley RN. And I ❤️ Red Coat Tavern just as much as I ❤️my co-workers
I was a Beaumont Nurse for 22 years and did work in the SICU during that time.I worked may areas. Could not of said it better! Now Retired, I miss the close net Beaumont family I had at work in many areas.
I retired after 45 years not because I wanted to but I couldn’t take the computer and all the other nonsense. I just wanted to do nursing care that I was taught and put the patient first. I went back as a volunteer on my floor a micu and I love it. I come and go as I please, actually do pt care and little extra things that nurses don’t have time to do. My Icu family is very appreciative, it gets me out of the house, I see my buds and catch up on all the gossip and it makes me feel good. I loved nursing but we are not nurses any more.
I also retired after 45 years. I do miss it, but the 12 hour shifts were too taxing on this old body. Maybe I will try volunteer work.
I feel the same. Retired after 42 yrs. I could not tolerate the way I was caring for pts. So much computer and constant documentation repeatedly! Loved taking csre of pts in 70’s 80’s and part of 90’s…then it hit.
Was so honest , so beautiful and it represents a nurse, I’m proud to be a nurse
You rock! Beaumont NICU nurse that understands and loves my hospital family!
Yes, you DO rock! I am also a BEAUMONT nurse! (And the author of this blog!)
Beaumont nurses rock
Thank you for sharing. I have been a nurse since 1997 and I felt every word you wrote. I couldn’t imagine my life without being a nurse.
Love this …it’s getting shared around in facebook 🙂
Love this:-) every word is true! !!!
absolutely true oh how I miss the days when I worked as an RN