A Heart Like Katie

Recently I heard someone say, “Learn to speak well of others,” and like so many other impactful words this particular person has spoken over the years…   I kept hearing them over and over in my head all week.

Alllll week.

And yesterday I was excited to have found my seat at a bridal shower right next to the daughter of one of the wisest women I’ve ever known.  And I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I asked how her mother was doing, to learn that even in her late stages of dementia she is still making an impact on her daughters, passing down nuggets of wisdom to everyone she has contact with –  all day, every day, whether she’s related to them or not.  And whether she knows it or not.

Maureen then told me the story of when one of her mother’s caregivers had come to the room to care for her.  This young gal had apparently put her hair up into three separate hair buns, with three completely different (and very loud) colors, which may have made the average person, and most likely an older woman with dementia chuckle.  But not Katie!   No – Katie took in a deep breath, looked that gal directly in the face and said, “Oh my!  You look absolutely STUNNING!”  And she wholeheartedly meant what she said.  Maureen said that gal’s face lit up as if no one had ever told her how beautiful she was.

Bravo, Katie!

Granted, most times Katie’s words of encouragement are now a matter of reflex, rather than what was lifelong intentionality wishing to be an encouragement to everyone, but this could never have happened had she not purposefully cultivated a heart that THINKS well of others – all the time – which leads to then TREAT others and SPEAK well about others all the time.

That gentleman I heard recently may as well have talking about my dear friend’s mother.  She no longer needs to be intentional about being nice, giving compliments, or making everyone who tends to her in Memory Care feel special and even beautiful – because her entire life she has cultivated a heart that sees the best in everyone.  Now, even in the late stages of dementia – it’s just natural for her to be nice, and to be an encouragement to everyone who is lucky enough to cross paths with Katie.  She had done just what I’d heard we should do – learn to speak well of others.

“My mom is still teaching us so much, and she doesn’t even realize it.”  That’s what her daughter Maureen said.  Proverbs 18:21 says that life and death are in the power of the tongue.   We all know just how big an impact the tongue can have, because who hasn’t experienced discouragement from the hurtful words of others?  Imagine if we cultivated a heart like Katie’s – the impact we could have!  (Maybe people would even drive a little kinder on M-59!)  HA!

My Traverse City chicken salad was delicious, dessert was over-the-top yummy, and the company at that table was delightful, but Maureen’s words rolled around in my head for the 45-minute drive home and the entire evening, just like that gentleman’s did earlier in the week.  I’m so grateful to have gotten seated next to her.

What comes out of our mouths and rolls off our tongues comes right straight from our heart.

Let me re-phrase that.  What comes out of my mouth and rolls off my tongue, comes right straight from my heart.

I want to cultivate thoughts that cause my heart to look a little bit more like Katie’s, so that the words that roll off of my tongue lift others up, whether they are standing in front of me or not.

^“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Ephesians 4:29

(I have this verse highlighted in my Bible and have Katie’s name written in the margin right next to it).

It was such a gift yesterday getting to sit next to Maureen.  And Oh Katie Meelock!  What a treasure you have been to me over these years!   Thanks for sharing so much of your Mom with me, Jean.  May we grow as old and wise and kind as she has!