Just a few random thoughts after two difficult days at work………..
My feet hurt. I got them tangled in all of my IV lines several times today, almost fell on my rear end in the process. Spilled a bunch of Ativan on the floor, walked through it, and now my shoes are all sticky. Had so much equipment in my room that just to titrate my drips, I couldn’t help but silently remember and laugh about the old game of “twister.” Helped two families cope with accepting the probability of the death of someone they have loved for more years than I have been alive. Diffused an argument between two sisters over a difficult decision. Text paged a doc so many times I got a little worried he might want to choke me. High-fived a resident and got him a box of chocolates for convincing someone that doing chest compressions on their 90-year-old grandpa was a bad idea. Took my first break after 8 hours of standing. Wrote up a “Saluting the Stars” recommendation for the pharmacist who personally walked my drips up to me after several attempts to get them failed. Got to pray with a young man who has known a lot of heartache in the past few months and knows he will likely die very soon.
No, I don’t “love” my job, because sometimes, my “job” makes my heart ache. And my feet hurt. And my back ache.
But the hug I got from the 91-year-old man who was afraid to lose his wife of 66 years, and being called, “Sunshine” on my way out the door by his daughters, reminds me that I am to be the hands and feet of Jesus. And THAT does not EVER feel like a job to me. And the back ache and the heel spurs? Yeah, they are totally worth it. Totally. Goodnight!