A wise friend once told me the story about what came to be known as her "not-so-traditional" Thanksgiving dinner. She used that story to teach me something about my expectations of people. It made sense then, but the older I get, the more it makes sense. And, I'm guessing the older I get, the more sense it will continue to make. This week, I was reminded of her story - so I thought it was worthy of telling. My friend's son and daughter-in-law lived a few hours away, and for many, many years, she and her husband were not invited to Thanksgiving dinner at their home. They were always disappointed, but had, over those years, created their own tradition of having a small dinner together - just the two of them, watching some football, and enjoying the day at home alone. One year, ... View Post
This Ol’ Wrecked Knee
Years ago when my sons were young, and I was feeling homesick for California (I'm still homesick for California)... I took them on one of the coolest vacations I'd ever taken them on. We flew into LA, rented a car, and drove up into the high desert and visited cousin Lynn. The first evening, we went back to the park where she and I had often taken her children, and we all laid on the picnic benches in that Victorville park, and watched shooting star, after shooting star, after shooting star. Though my life looked nothing at all like it had when I called that place home, and Lynn's kids had grown up since I'd last seen them, absolutely nothing in that beautiful nighttime desert sky had changed even in the smallest way. It was still bright with stars and gave us an amazing show that ... View Post
Adopted
I've lost count of the number of times I've been told that I "know everyone." Sometimes, it even seems like it to me. Today, someone told me I have the "spiritual gift of contacts," and I laughed because - I just might! Another friend always says he pictures me like the old time switchboard operators, always plugging people together with others. I think all of it is true. I also believe it's a gift - and a fun one! Last night I had the opportunity to introduce two of my friends, who for years had each heard all about each other. So, they had my short, not-very-well-told versions of each of their stories. But last night I got to hear both of them share all of the details of their stories with each other. After work, we all went out for dinner - Lebanese food (MY personal ... View Post
The Dance
Dear Caregiver, I remember well the first time I came to your home. I was a nurse of many years, but had just taken a home hospice position, and your husband was my first admission. You greeted me at the door with your faithful companion, Sammy, alongside you. Several friends and family members sat around the table. All eyes were on me, and the questions came from every direction. I was nervous. I wanted to do everything correctly, making sure all of the equipment, medications, and staff were in place to provide for every anticipated need. I wanted you to trust me. I wanted your husband to feel comfortable with me caring for him. Twelve-hour shifts were what I was used to at the hospital. Now there would be only weekly visits - yet, I had no idea how well I'd get to know ... View Post
Encouragement for Young Mommies
I've often thought that one day, I should sit and write down some of the things I wish younger moms could know... the stuff I learned the hard way... After all, the best way to learn is from someone else's mistakes instead of your own, right? But I've never actually done it. Wrote it down, that is - because I always figured it would just make me sound like a know-it-all, (and who likes a know-it-all?) Or that it would make me sound as if I've done it all so perfectly, and that couldn't be further from the truth! But that doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two. Cuz, I do, actually - know a thing or 10. After all, shouldn't I, after all these years? Some time yesterday while I was out of town, my close friend texted me from Atlanta. She mentors young women and one of them ... View Post
At Least He Doesn’t Hit Me
There was once a girl who longed to be married. She dreamed of being a good wife. She wanted to love her husband and make him so proud of her. She met her knight in shining armor. Things were swell at first. But night after night she found herself doing things wrong. Everything she did was wrong, in fact. "I'll do better," she said. But all attempts failed. "I'll call him at work, and I'll remind him how much I love him. I'll make his favorite dinners. The house will be clean. The kids will behave. It will all be okay." "I'll do better," she said. But he was too busy to take those calls. She didn't realize how busy he was. How important he was. How annoying her calls were. How could he make it out of work on time, if she kept calling and bothering ... View Post
Zip it, Kid
I can't tell you how many times I sit down with what sounds to me like a fun or meaningful thing to write a story about, I get nice and comfy on the couch with every bony prominence well padded (I don't have very many bony prominences these days), my elbows buried in pillows, big deep breath, hands on the keyboard, and... nothin'..... Seriously. And, it's not like I'm at a loss for some pretty cool stories to tell, cuz I'm not. I'm never out of stories. Never. Usually, I wind up sitting here staring at the screen wondering how to put something into words. I've not ever struggled with this until lately, but today, I hear all sorts of different things because I've only lived here for five months, and my ears are still keenly aware of the strange sounds in my new home. It's ... View Post
That Great Big Pile of Shoes
Just the other day, I was leaving the home of someone with young children, and on my way out, she apologized that I had to step over all of the shoes that were in front of the door - shoes that belonged to her kids and their friends. I just laughed and promised her she'd miss these days, and those shoes, and then she laughed back at me, because... well, I don't think she believed me. The whole conversation took me back... way back... all the way back to the day I walked into my home and realized there WERE no more shoes scattered all over the floor from my sons and their neighborhood friends. There was no more laughter with the shananigans going on in the basement while my sons and their friends played video games, or watched movies. I always hated tripping over those shoes. ... View Post