Yeah, I figured that subject line would get some attention. But it’s true! We’re all going to die!
Returning home from Book Club tonight, I texted my friend and said I felt “all fired up.” The book? Costi Hinn’s “God, Greed, & the Prosperity Gospel.”
You guys, it’s sooooo good! You should read it!
As always, there was lively discussion (and sweet fellowship), and someone brought up the fact that in the Prosperity Gospel, there is no room for, no discussion of, no acceptance of … death. If you die, well then, your faith wasn’t strong enough, your prayers weren’t long enough, you didn’t really believe what you were claiming (in Jesus’ name)…. and the list goes on. This is a FALSE GOSPEL.
But death is real, and all of us will face it. And while it was good, and healthy, and helpful to discuss all of the issues with the poisonously false prosperity gospel, we can find ourselves saying things that might suggest we have no room for death in our belief system either – even if we understand the true Gospel correctly.
Hear me out.
We’ve all heard these prayers. “Pray for so-and-so. They have stage 4 cancer with multiple sites of metastasis, multiple organ failure, on a ventilator, and the family wants to withdraw care.” And the crowd GASPS! Followed by “What? No! Why would they do that?!! They have to KEEP FIGHTING! Don’t they even care about their family? They should keep fighting! Pray for a miracle! God can do it!”
Yes. He most certainly can. But we also should be responsible and make informed decisions based on the facts, and if God wants to do a miracle, He still can regardless.
Oh gosh. I should also probably admit here that I’m a Registered Nurse, and the majority of my career was spent working in the Medical ICU (above scenario a daily one), as well as a home hospice RN, and now a Chemotherapy Infusion RN. I have run across this Prosperity “Name It & Claim It” False Gospel more times than I can count, where families won’t allow you to say the word “cancer” or even discuss the grim prognosis because they are claiming a miracle. Physicians and Nurses’ attempts to have family meetings to update and educate family on their loved ones current status are often met with refusal to listen to anything negative by those believing in and holding fast to their FALSE prosperity gospel.
Trust me, as a nurse, we ALWAYS wanted you to get your miracle. But sometimes – God says no. And when He says no, he doesn’t do it based on the amount of faith you didn’t have, or how little you believed, or anything that you did wrong. God is sovereign. We’re not. It’s that simple.
Do our words have power? Of course – they have the power to build up and encourage, or to tear down and destroy. But you can’t just holler out demands to God and expect Him to deliver. He’s not a magic genie in a bottle. If that were true, and I could holler out anything I wanted – trust me, I’d be a size 7, and not the plump gal I currently am.
I should also add that I’ve run into more people than I can count, who DO NOT have advanced directives or living wills established. And they’ve had 50- and 60-year-old marriages. Oh, that’s not all.
They’ve NEVER. HAD. THE. DISCUSSION.
“Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:16
“Oh, but I know he wouldn’t want anything heroic done.”
Okay – Define heroic, because your definition and my definition of heroic might not be the same. In fact, they might be completely 100% opposite each other.
Nothing heroic, but please, put my husband, my wife, my loved one, on every kind of life support available. He’s a fighter. A month later, we’ve got a tracheostomy, feeding tube, multiple bed sores, and off to a nursing home where maybe, if you’re lucky, they might get turned every 12 hours, and they’ll be back within 2 weeks with sepsis. What a life.
I know I probably sound blunt, and crass, and cold, and jaded.
But I’m just wondering…
Why do we live as though death will never come? And how should we, as Christians, live knowing that we’re going to die? How do we prepare for it? Why don’t we discuss it more? Why can’t we pray for healing, but be accepting of God’s Sovereign plan for our lives that might, in fact, include suffering? We should pray and ask how we can live a life worthy of whatever suffering God calls us to walk through in our lives, and how to suffer well. Read John Piper’s little booklet called, “Don’t waste your cancer.” You could literally swap out the word cancer for COPD, heart failure, ALS, to whatever you cross you’ve been appointed to carry… Listen to Joni Eareckson Tada, and also Katherine and Jay Wolfe. They all have so much to teach us! So, so much!
Why don’t we have the discussions with our loved ones, and then honor their wishes and not torture them with HEROIC CARE just to keep them alive to have a miserable, horrific life of pain and suffering? If we claim to trust the Lord and believe that in His sovereignty, He has numbered our days – why then do we refuse to allow our loved ones to make their own decisions and die a beautiful, peaceful, pain-free death surrounded by people who love them, or however they might choose? I have seen some of the most beautiful, peaceful deaths. But I have seen some of the most painful as well, where family guilts the dying into continued suffering saying things like, “You don’t love us?” I remember in particular a young man with ALS on life support because the family insisted we keep him alive for his daughter’s first communion, which was four months away. He would not have even been able to attend. It was cruel.
I just think it’s a conversation worth having. I believe it’s a conversation we MUST have. And going through life avoiding “the talk” or preparing financially, legally, and for heaven’s sake spiritually, is just straight up foolish. We have a responsibility to discuss and take care of these things. I guess you could say that in a way, it’s caring for our loved ones when we do.
I’m going to recommend a wonderful book that addresses all of these issues (and more) from a Biblical perspective. It’s called “Between Life and Death” by Kathryn Butler, MD. Just my opinion but, I think it’s a must read for everyone. Everyone.
There are all sorts of resources on line to help you prepare an Advanced Directive, and you can find a local attorney to help you prepare a living will to make your family’s life easier during their grief.
I welcome the feedback. This is a subject near and dear to my heart, and like I said, I’m “all fired up” tonight. I welcome the feedback, even if you disagree with me!
Some links:
Katherine and Jay Wolfe – https://hopeheals.com/
Joni Eareckson Tada – https://joniandfriends.org/
Spot on